helvetica

I just watched a movie called "helvetica" with Patrick. Basically, its a documentary about the type font Helvetica - history, comments, thoughts, love, hate, whatever. It's somewhat interesting. I was into it for the first 45 minutes then my mind went elsewhere, started thinking about abundance of fonts and lack of hand written words.

Handwriting has become an immensely personal tool. I began thinking about the people that I was close to in my adolescent days. I know the handwriting of my best friend. I know the handwriting of each of my family members. I still even remember the handwriting of the guy that I had a crush on. Fast forward to college. I think about my husband's handwriting through the little notes he left for me on post-its pasted on my dorm room door. At that time, I thought his writing was serious, a little immature, and extremely clear - basically, himself on a piece of yellow sticky. I can also recall some of my friends' writings. I think about a person's face and for those people that I've known for a long time, I can recall their handwritings. It's something personal that belongs to them and it makes me smile to just think about them.

The problem arises when I think about the people that I met after college. I guess there was never a need to exchange handwritten notes, and there was never an opportunity to see their writings. I just don't know what their handwritings look like. Even for those who I became very close to, I just don't know it and I wish I did.

These days, I only write by hand when I write a thank you card, or a card to include in a gift box (I write notes and make lists for myself but they don't count). I like writing by hand - it makes me a little nervous because I can't push the delete button like I do so often on the computer. I like it because if I don't know how to spell something, I just sort of scribble to fudge it. I also scribble when I don't know if the word that I just wrote is an actual word.

When my friend left after college, we promised to write to each other rather than email, just because we never get anything meaningful in the mailbox anymore. That lasted for a couple of years and correspondence seized for years. Now, 10 years later, we are using technology.

I've encountered problems with fonts. Every once in a blue moon, I receive very personal emails where it's just more than hellos. I read this email, understand it, but never quite get the sense of it. Sometimes, I don't even know how to trust it and question it's authenticity. When this happens, the only thing I can do is to touch the computer screen, to actually touch the words and to find some meaning - I can't say this really helps. If the same sentences were handwritten, I don't think I would question the content at all.

When I write an email to my husband, just to ask him to pick up something after work or whatever, I write "i love you" before signing my name. I do this just because I like saying it and I say it to him and also to my kids countless times during the day. When I say it, I think they can feel my words. But when I type it, it seems so empty - I don't even trust what I am writing. I told this to Pat and he says it's better that I type it then not, so guess I will continue doing it. But I just cannot convey what I want to tell him in those 3 simple words in a typed form. All feelings lost and only words remain.

Maybe I will handwrite my next blog entry. That means that I have to go find a pen and a paper. That's a lot of work in itself.

today

Today, I was trying to "fix" something on my blog site and now it looks bad.... What did I do?!

Today, Terran and I were sitting outside in the back of our Subaru, having cookies and milk, when he said "mama, you so pretty, love you". I melted and fell in love with him all over again. As he was about to come give me a hug, he stood up, bumped him head on the car ceiling, started wailing and the moment was gone. It was just the sweetest thing. I will always remember this.

Today, I decided that we will go on vacation to France (tagged to Pat's conference) in September. Patrick has been asking me for awhile and at first I said I don't want to go. But he started looking for accommodation for all of us and I said I'll think about it. My thought was, if it were just me and him, I'd definitely go. The only reason why I don't want to go is because it's so much trouble taking 2 little kids. But I began to think that if I keep missing these opportunities for vacations because of the kids, we'd never go anywhere. So even though I am still not looking forward to it all that much, we will all go. Besides, we are very experienced in making Patrick's conferences an excuse for vacations. I tagged along to Italy in 2004, where I accidentally became pregnant with Terran :) We tagged along to Hawaii in 2006. We tagged along to Los Angeles in 2007. And so now, its Nice in 2008 with a new tag buddy, Sierra. And definitely no chance of getting pregnant with 2 children in tow.



Terran and I on Sunday while playing outside.



Happy Sierra on a camping chair.



In 2007 when we tagged along to a conference in Los Angeles. Terran and I met up with my friend Patrick and he took this picture. Terran loved the beach so much and just started running around in circles. I was probably 5 months pregnant with Sierra.


In 2006 when we tagged along to a conference in Hawaii (Big Island). It was held at a resort and they had everything on the property including dolphins. Patrick took a break from work during the day to come hang out with us.


In 2004 when I flew out to Rome and met up with Patrick after his conference. We traveled to a few places including Cinque Terre. We met up with our friend Peter there and he took this picture. This is where we accidentally conceived due to a mixture of great food, great air, great location, and forgetting to take the pill! We named Terran after this place.

Sick

My poor Terran was sick this weekend. He started coughing on Saturday morning and continues tonight. It's stressful when a child is sick. It's terrible to watch him cough continuously, and it's terrible to watch him suffer all day. But it's really annoying that he won't listen to me and cries and screams most of the day. The docs banned all cold and cough medicine for kids so I can't give him anything. Well, I gave him Tylenol and that seemed to have taken some pain away temporarily. I let him eat whatever he wants and let him get away with things he would otherwise get in trouble for. Absolutely exhausted and hoping for a better day tomorrow....

A warm weekend

This was the first really warm weekend and we all had a grand time hanging out outside. Saturday, we lunched under the sun and strolled in Princeton. We have this big double stroller that Pat and I named "the bus". Sierra sits in the front and Terran in the back and with both of them in position, it's not an easy equipment to push. But it gives me great exercise to push that bus around so I am thankful for it.

On Sunday, we ventured out to Philadelphia Zoo. I never liked zoos when I was younger. But now with 2 children, anything that keeps them happy and somewhat educational is OK by me. Philadelphia zoo is the nation's first zoo. So I was imagining it to have lots of animals in small metal cages. But that wasn't the case at all. I guess they had done a lot of renovations and it felt more like a quaint park. Best of all, Terran loved it. In the middle of the day, Sierra got a little upset so I found a quiet spot to nurse her in front of the chimpanzee exhibit. As I sat on the floor with Sierra on my boob, I thought about evolution. Not so many women nurse their babies anymore. If generations of women stop nursing, would our breasts evolve to become useless for feeding? That was a scary thought since both Sierra and Terran used me exclusively for food as well as for a pacifier. Maybe evolution isn't so easy. I guess we'll be fine.

Since it's warmer and lighter now, I put Sierra to sleep and have been going out for a stroll around the neighborhood around 8pm. It's really the only time during the day when I feel finally alone. The past couple of days, I've stepped it up a bit from a stroll to a jog (with a little encouragement from Pat). I've never enjoyed jogging but this should be good for me and my big behind.... On that note, I lost 5lbs recently without really any effort! Maybe the jog will help shed more - and the dreaded mommy & baby exercise class tomorrow am.


At the zoo with Terran and Sierra on "the bus".

April

It's really peaceful when both of the kids are sleeping at the same time. I think the temperature outside is about70 today so I was able to take them out to the park after lunch. That must have tired them out. Yay!

Recently, I have been looking for my friend who I last contacted about a year ago. I am not that great at searching for people online. Her name is Jenny Chang and she now works at microsoft in Seattle. Do you know her? If you do, will you email me with her email? My email has not changed in the last 10 years. She apprently changed her email address and her cell phone number. I hate it when people do that. We don't have any mutual friends and I sent her a holiday card at her parents house with all my info but never heard back from her. She was going to visit me around this time last year. It was a last minute thing. Out of nowhere, she called to say she wants to come over the next day. So I said OK. Then there was a snow storm and her car broke down etc. etc. And she didn't come. I know her from college but our history is longer than that. As we were chatting back in 1997, we discovered that our dads worked for the same company and that we use to play as children on occasions. At first meeting, I found her extremely eccentric but after I warmed up to her, we became good friends. I miss her....

Sierra and I started mommy & baby exercise class. I was excited when I signed up for it but now, I dread going every tuesday. It's so hard! Needless to say, all the moms including myself, are FAT. Oh, except for one - mom of the twins. She's skin and bones.

Ooops. Peace interrupted. It's Sierra. She slept through the first 4 months of her life. Now she's happy to be up and playing. She's the most adorable thing and I get lots of comments on how beautiful she is. I usually carry her around in my ergo baby carrier - the best sling ever - so she is at people's eye level - or a little shorter since I am short. When a stranger comes up to say hello to her, she gives a hesitant smile. It's so cute.


Here is one who interrupted peace. No big deal since she was so smiley and peaceful when she woke up.

Baby pppttttt

So here is an update from yesterday's blog. Thank you Lloyd san for enhancing my skills! This is great.

Baby pppttttt

I don't know how to better link to YouTube via blogspot. You know that screen that you just click on and it plays??? Teach me if you do. But in the mean time, visit YouTube via below link and see our Sierra. She's 6 months now and oh so sweet!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQr3S99FaP8

Photos

My babies are growing quickly. Terran grew another inch last month. He's also talking a lot more in complete sentences. He's passionate about trains and most of his sentences are about trains. He is creative and imaginative. Since we haven't had a chance to take him on a train ride in a month or so, he pretends that he is standing on the platform, watching trains of various speeds and sizes pass by, until the right train comes. Then he gets on his imaginary train and usually takes us all for a ride.

Sierra recently found her other hand. She brings both of her hands together in front of her face and curiously studies them for a long time. I also started giving her some baby food but she spits out 95% of it.

Here are some recent photos:

Terran loves to play with the Stereo. He knows everything about it and he can play whatever music he wants by himself. These days we are still stuck in December listening to Christmas songs and also the Beatles; Pat is sick of listening to the Beatles' upbeat tunes all day long.


Terran sometimes just wants to hold Sierra. But she gets angry pretty quickly.


Happy Sierra playing on the floor. Although I cannot capture her smiles on photo too often, she is usually very smiley. In the morning when I got into her room, she is so happy that she kicks and waves her arms around with a big smile on her face. She is just such a sweetie and so beautiful. She loves being held. In fact, she probably thinks I am an extension of her.


Sitting in her bouncy chair and swinging toys around. Her voice and her actions are very feminine.

I think babies look best in white. With girls clothes, it's hard to stay away from the pinks because 75% of baby girl clothes sold are pink. I love this white fuzzy sweater on Sierra. She looks so cozy and beautiful. During last doctor's appointment, I found out that she is short and chubby, just like her mom. She is also starting to express her opinion. She sits with Pat quietly in the morning while he eats his breakfast but as soon as she sees me come into the kitchen, she whines and calls to be picked up. I hold her a lot. Maybe because of that, she has not expressed any interest in rolling over.

Remebering past and present elections

Present 20008:
We went to a friend's house for Super Bowl yesterday. There, we met a guy who volunteers for the Obama Campaign. He says he passes out fliers at the mall. According to him, the county that we live in votes strongly for Obama. He said there were so many volunteers for this weekend that he was not needed. Probably true because when we were sitting around at home earlier that day, an Obama campaign volunteer came knocking on our door. On Republican side, the county votes for Ron Paul. Although he would be our Republican candidate of choice, this is a bit hard to believe....

Past 2004:
I made a bet with my colleague about who would win the election. My colleague said he is an independent but usually votes for a Republican. However, for this election, he was voting for Kerry and thought that he would win. I would have voted for Kerry as well but I didn't think he could win. So I won the bet, got a free lunch, and we all got another 4 years of Bush.

Past 1996:
Second year, first semester in college. I took a Intro to Political Science class to fulfill a requirement. I was very new to this country and did not know much about American Politics but this was the perfect time to take this class since it was election time. In my discussion session of 30 or so, 29 were Democrats. The last one grew up believed he was a Republican because his parents were, but now felt stupid and shameful that he actually thought that way and will now vote for a Democrat. Having no other exposure to America's political opinion other than this classroom in Berkeley, I naturally thought this is how America thinks. Although Clinton ended up winning the election, I was blown away to find out that almost half of America voted against him. Later, I learned that how Berkeley thinks may be a bit different from the rest of America. Although my ideas were formed during this time in life, I now find comfort in having Republican friends. With people of various ideas coexisting, I found a more normal environment when we moved out of the Bay Area. Now I think that the differences make for a healthier city.

Past 1988:
I am surprised that I vaguely remember this election. I was only 11 years old and living in Farmington, New Mexico with an American family. I remember that no one wanted to admit to who they are voting for. For some reason, I thought that they would be voting for Bush.

Past also 1988:
I remember Jesse Jackson in the primaries. We were watching TV in Yokohama, probably in the summer time when we went back there for a couple months. My dad was eating dinner late and we watched the news. Photos of the candidates came up on the screen and one was black. My dad commented on how important it was for America that a black candidate was running. I had no understanding of American politics. I did not understand why it was so special that there was a black candidate. I thought they were all the same.

There's something in the air

I can't even vote and I am following the campaign more closely than most Americans. Mostly because I am at home all day and what am I suppose to do when Sierra is asleep and Terran is at school? Patrick and I are both Obama supporters and it surprises us to hear that New Jersey is leaning so strongly towards Clinton. I suppose it's the proximity to her state of New York. To us, the choice is obvious.
I remember first hearing his speech in the 2004 Democratic Convention. We sat there in front of our little TV saying, "wow, who is this dude. He should run for President instead of the Old John Kerry." Read his 2004 key note. Since then, I saw him on Oprah introducing his book, I saw him grooving on Ellen; and now all the channels I flip through at any hour of the day. I read both his books, The Audacity of Hope and Dreams from My Father (although I did read Hillary's autobiography as well). Seeing him on TV and reading his books definitely made me a captive audience and a supporter. It's clearly obvious that even the media is enamored by him. Their words are always so harsh towards the Clintons but with Obama, there's very little of that. Fox news, the republican channel, is the most fun to watch, since they love to trash Hillary and say things like "I wish the Clintons would diappear" but to Obama, they say "I'm a conservative and he inspires me."

I recently found this little video clip and this is what I really like about him. OK, I can't figure out how to upload video so you have to go there yourself and check it out.

With all this said, on Tuesday, Pat will get up at 6am and run down to the fire station to be one of the first to vote. I will just stay in bed.

I watched the California debate with Terran last night. I taught him to be an Obama supporter. Now he says, "go Obama!" and to Hillary, he just shakes his head. So cute.

Another thing that I wanted to mention is about experience. Hillary boasts on her years of experience and that gets to me. When I go to job interviews and they tell me that they are only going to offer me so little money for me to work there, the reason is always due to my lack of experience. But I always argue that I picked up so much more and know more than the years actually shown on my resume. Even though I believe strongly that this is true, not many people buy it. But I just think that experience is often over rated.

Shoot, only 10:30am and Sierra is up already from her nap....

It's been awhile

It's been awhile since I wrote here. For the holidays, we were able to spend a week in NYC, thanks to our friends who let us use their apartment. Patrick took Terran to all the places that he would be interested in going, like the Train Museum and the Natural History Museum. Sierra and I took walks around Chelsea, shopped at H&M, and had lunch with my sister. We had a good time but we were ready to come home and get back to the routine. Both Terran and Sierra like their routines and the stuff they have at home. So after a few days, Terran seemed a bit grumpy and not totally his happy self.

Now, the new year has started and we are back to our routine. Terran is talking so much more now and learns the words that we teach him quickly. He loves to play with his wooden trains and tracks along with Legos. We were playing and he said "mama, more dark". I said "huh? what?" He seemed frustrated that I didn't understand him. Then he pointed to the tunnel that we built earlier and said "dark". I told him that it's dark inside but it's actually called a tunnel. And so he went about his business. When we played with the same toys again next day, he was already asking me to build a "tunnel".

I also try to teach him Japanese. He can say gomi shu shu sha (garbage truck), sho bo sha (fire truck), kyu kyu sha (ambulance), eki (train station), and words of that nature. He's sweet. He's so nice to Sierra and likes to hold her in his lap. He gives her a kiss before he goes to bed. If she's crying, he will say "Sisi, don't cry". Sometimes, she flings her arm around and hits Terran. Then he comes to me and say "Sisi hurt me". He doesn't understand that she doesn't have good control of her arms yet.

Sierra is a good natured baby. She's happy except when she's tired. She can only stay up happily for 1.5 hours or so. After that, she gets tired and needs to sleep. She laughs when she sees something she likes. When I got to her in the morning, she gets excited and swings her arounds and kicks with her legs all over with a big smile. I am at home and always with her. She likes to be held but now, she is able to sit on the bouncy chair or play in the saucer. She has eczema, like me (how unfortunate...). We went to her 4 month appointment and found out that she's short and fat, also like me (also how unfortunate...). I was suppose to go back to work in Feb but decided against it. I think I will stay with her until she turns 1.

Preparing for Beijing

The only time that I was in Beijing was in 1996. Summer between my freshman and sophomore year in college. At that time, some improvements had been made to the city's transportation in preparation for a bid to an earlier Oympics, I think the 2000. Improvement basically meant mini-bus access throughout the city. There may have been trains but I surely did not ride it. I loved the crowd, the dirt, the food, and the gray air and gray buildings of the city. I hated the heat and the diarrhea that I got from eating the food.

Now, I am just trying to think how the city is going to handle the crowd this coming summer. It was crowded on a regular summer day. The buses were always packed. All the tourist spots were always packed. Add to that the millions of foreign visitors who are going to flock the city; it's going to be a chaos.

There's so much money poured into construction in preparations for the 2008 Beijing Olympics.
My uncle-in-law sent me some articles about it. The European hot shots have their names on several of the largest newest structures. Amidst all the bustle, I found something that I actually liked; a serene, peaceful, yet ultra-contemporary creation: Ullens Center for Contemporary Art. From the image that I saw, there is a definite similarity to the Kimbell Museum that I visited with my colleagues back in 2003. It goes against all the obnoxious creations elsewhere in the city. Beijing needs something like this.

I am not that interested in going to the Olympics. I don't want to deal with the crowd, the heat, or the diarrhea. But I would love to visit the Ullens Center. Hey, maybe when we are all done raising kids, say 20 years from now, we can take another "educational" architectural trip; this time to Beijing.

checkout the article on LA Times

Birthday Unch (poop)!

Terran did his big number on the toilet for the first time ever, and it was on my birthday!!!! Yes, he's done a really small one before but this one was the real deal! It even smelled up the whole bathroom and beyond!!! I was so happy that I cried and hugged and kissed him on the toilet afterwards. Who knew that a great big poop could mean so much. He was quite proud of himself as well. Later in the day, he must have forgotten about our big morning celebration because he went again, twice, in his diaper.... Nonetheless, a great beginning and an excellent birthday present for me! Terran calls it "unch", which is basically poop in Japanese - but with a slight American accent since it's more Pat who taught him the word.

Last day to be 30.

Tomorrow is my birthday and I will be turning 31. Looking back at the past year, all I remember was being busy. I don't really see myself anymore when I think back. I just see Terran running around and making a lot of noise. I see Pat coming home from work, and I see Sierra being born....

Actually, I do see one thing that happened to me. It was in August and I was very pregnant and at least 30 lb my usual weight. I was in NYC for work and when I got out of Penn Station, I see a long long cab line which is unusual at that particular spot. Then I find out from someone that the Subway had been flooded due to early morning storm. I called the field to see if our meeting is still on and whether I should try to get there. Yes, it's still on, try to come. OK.... So I miserably stood at the end of the line. If you don't know this, it's very uncomfortable to be pregnant and be standing still. After 5 minutes, my back was already cramping. Then, from way ahead of the line, a woman came up to me and asked me if I wanted to share a cab. I'd love to, I said. And cut in line about 1 hour ahead of where I started. It turned out to be a group of 3 women plus me sharing the cab. We were all going uptown, east side. There was another woman who was only 4 months pregnant but were expecting twins and was as big as I was. We chatted, bitched, complained about work, and got into our cab half an hour later. Our pregnant feet and backs were hurting from so much waiting and standing. But that day, I was just so thankful that they picked my miserable ass from the line to be with them. It made the time go by a little faster, and it made me think that New Yorkers can be really kind when things like this happen. In fact, Americans are really good to one another and to strangers when put in an unusual situation. This may not be much but its about the only thing that I strongly recall that does not involve my family.

I know that my thirties will be totally devoted to my family. The first 3 decades of my life were totally about me so it seems to make sense that I give my all to the little ones for the next 2. Each day is a challenge but its a good one.

A little note about our local newspaper "The Times". It doesn't even have a regional name to it, like the LA Times or the NY Times. It sounds grand doesn't it? Well, guess what's on the front page for the last 4 days. A story about a Princeton dog who may or may not be on a death sentence for mauling a landscaper. This morning, there was a huge picture of the dog owner and his 2 children on the front page. If I see this stupid article on the front page again, I am going to cancel the paper!!!! Oh wait, Christmas is coming, that means lots of ads. I love the ads. They're the best. I don't really read the paper, but I study the ads. They're the best.

That was a long blog. Can you tell Sierra is sleeping a lot today?



Halloween: Sierra as a pea pod and Terran as Thomas the tank engine!


Terran loves being outside and he has the greatest smile.

We picked out a little chair for Sierra so she can sit with us during dinner (if she is willing....)

This autumn, Terran loved playing in the leaves. He would jump into them, mess up the nice pile of leaves that our neighbor raked, and picks up some flowers that are still alive to bring to me. Once, I forgot that he was holding my keys and we started running into the leaves and rolling around in it. Later, I realized that my keys were missing and I remembered that Terran had them last. We looking in the pile but could not find them and it was already pretty dark. I sheepishly mentioned this to Pat when he got home.... Next morning, Pat and Terran went to search and finally rescued the missing keys.

Photo of Pat and sleeping Sierra. Her skin looks so nice and plump.

Back to normal

My mom left about 3 weeks ago and Pat's parents came and left 2 weeks ago. Now, we are back to normal +1. I am once again a SAHM (stay at home mom), and I couldn't possibly be any busier. I work non-stop from the moment I wake up til we go to sleep. For some reason, I am able to keep my energy up. It really helps that Sis (that's what I call Sierra now, pronounced like "sees") is a good sleeper. Terran is also very good to her and pats her gently when she cries. He seems to know to be very gentle around her and has not yet done anything to hurt her at all. On the other hand, I am feeling a bit anti-social and really haven't made any effort to contact too many people since Sierra's birth. Planning to meet some new people through mom's groups around this place.
On a good note, I passed my final ARE so now, I am ready to take the California Supplementary Exam. I am not as happy as I should be to have finished the ARE. It's more of a relief. I sent in to make an appointment for the exam but haven't heard back from them yet. Will be back in SF in March or LA in May. Not sure yet.


Pat and Terran did a 10K in Lawrenceville, right around our neighborhood. Terran sits and eats and drinks in his jogging stroller while Pat huffs and puffs, pushing him on the road. They've done a few 5K's but this was their first 10K together.


Pat and Sierra in the morning while having breakfast together before work.

My mom and Sierra sometime in September. I really like this picture of my mom. I think the lighting was good and she looks great and happy to be a baba (that's what Terran calls my mom) of a little girl.

Sierra in September. She was really small and skinny then. I guess this was within the first 2 weeks of birth since she still has the umbilical cord. Now she is quite fat.

Sierra's one month

Sierra is one month old today. She has been such a great baby that time went by very fast. She sleeps well at night. In fact, she sleeps well anytime. Most of the time, she is sleeping. Yesterday, we went to the Italian American festival, here in Mercer County. Terran ran around but Sisi slept through the whole thing. Amazing!

A rare moment when she was awake. She has my little eyes and tiny lashes. She's much more calm than Terran. She seems to know all about how life works. She knows to get sleep now when she really can. She loves to bathe. The first time, and every time after, she stayed calm and happy and didn't cry. I think she may have an old and wise soul.



Terran on the other hand is always running around and always curious. He has Pat's eyes and long beautiful lashes. He never stops until he sleeps. He is more verbal these days and likes to sing. He's young and active. These days when he sweats, he stinks - not a baby any more. I told him he stinks like a man, and he thought that was great and kept on saying "man! man!". He wanted to tie his hair back, just like how I tie my hair, and get his picture taken. He thought that was funny. Haha.

Terran and Sierra

weight lost since delivery: 16 lb. (19 more to go)

Within 2 weeks of Sierra's birth, Terran came down with a bad flu involving fever and ear infection. This is his first ear infection and unlike his other sicknesses that his had, he was crying with pain. Poor baby. Now, his fever is gone and he is taking antibiotics for his ears so he is happily running around once again.

Sierra is a sweetie. She doesn't cry much and seems as content as babies could be. She probably sleeps about 20 hours a day. I was worried that she sleeps so much so I had to ask the doctor if this was normal and the doc told me that it's a normal good baby. I had a hard time with Terran when he was a baby so this is a nice change!



Terran was a bit jealous at the beginning but doesn't seem that way anymore. He always looks for Sierra and wants to hold her. He helps me change her diaper.


My 2 babies: Terran holding Sierra while she cries....

Sierra

Our little baby girl, Sierra, was born on Aug. 30, 10 days earlier than expected and just 12 hours after my parents came in from japan. My contractions got really bad so Pat and I left home and got to the hospital around 5am. I had her out by 7am. I was already 7cm dilated by the time we got there. There was no time for epidural and I delivered her drug free. After hours of labor, I just wanted a moment of relief before I had to push her out so I pleaded for the drug. But it would have taken at least an hour to get the drug and for it to kick in. Not being able to withstand the pain any longer, I just decided to go for it. It was short but hard labor and delivery. Immediately after birth, I got cold and my whole body shook for an hour. But after that, I felt so great that I just wanted to eat, take a shower, and go out shopping for new clothes that would fit! The recovery time for this second baby that was delivered naturally was next to none. I wanted to jump up and down and go play with my little Terran at home. Sierra so far has been beautiful, quiet, and sleepy. Her eyes are rarely open and she just nurses, sleeps, and poops. She's a tiny 6 lb baby. We just love her!

Still pregnant

I've been off work for since 8/16. Pat was so worried for the first part of August that I would go into Labor somewhere far from home. So we decided that instead of working til the end, I should just stay home and wait for the baby to show up. Now that I am home, his stress and worries are gone and we are just wondering when she's going to decide to come out. Terran was born exactly 3 weeks before the due date at 37 weeks. So I approximated that this one would, too. But 37 weeks have come and gone and she is still happily inside my system.

Terran is still at daycare full time and Pat is at work so I spend time in my quiet house doing this and that. It's really the calm before the storm. Who knows what it will be like next week. My mom and dad will be here. My sister and her husband will be here. It will be Terran's last week of full time daycare so he will be in and out. Pat may or may not be on paternity leave depending on where the baby is going to be; inside or out.

My urge to nest have gotten me clean everything in the house. I bleached the bathrooms and the grout between the tiles until they are all sparkling white. I stripped the caulking around the shower and the tub and re-caulked them. I cleaned the floor and the floor tile grout. I cleaned out all the storage closets and got rid of years worth of junk and paper. This is totally hormonal because usually, I don't give a damn.

I am suppose to go back to work in Feb 2008. I get comments that that's a long maternity leave, but I don't know if it's long enough or maybe too long. I was happily at home with Terran for a year but I am not sure if I am going to have the urge to go back to work or not. Sometimes, I fear for my love for this little baby. I've gotten so used to the family of 3 with Pat, Terran, and myself. I'm just so crazy about Terran and watch his every move with adoration. Am I capable of loving another child as much as Terran? Am I going to be able to accept that I won't be able to give as much attention to Terran as I do now? The thought totally scares me. I've never heard of a mom who doesn't love all her kids. So there's some comfort in that but I hope I won't be the first....


The weather is cooling down so we can go pick berries on Saturday mornings. Terran is more interested in eating rather than picking.


We also cut fresh flowers at the same place where we get berries. I pick the flowers and Terran cuts for me.


He lines up all his toys with wheels and makes a "choo-choo train". I put a camping chair at the end and sit there so he won't make me sit in one of his toy cars, in which I can barely fit.

Terran's first poop. It's tiny but authentic!!! He did a big number right after this in his diaper....

Terran and Big Mama after picking berries.

nearing the end and nearing the beginning

At this point, I am nearing the end of 3 major event: work, pregnancy, and ARE. I've been working for a year in Philly now and it has been alright. That is coming to an end due another one of my extended maternity leaves. I am a bit relieved and looking forward to this end which will occur in a week.

My months of pregnancy is also coming to an end. I am at 35 weeks now, and although it's a bit early for delivery, I feel that it can come anytime. Pat is always nervous that I am going to go into labor in Philly or NY. I still need to go to the construction meeting in NY tomorrow and he's been trying to talk me out of it. I think I will be OK. My baby has come down lower in my tummy, which means that she's ready to join us anytime.

I started taking my ARE in 2004. After 3 years, I am almost done. My last exam will be next week and I will be done with it. Due to the stress, I've heard that there has been many cases of pregnant women going into labor during exams. I usually remain relaxed but just in case, I asked Pat to be in Philly that day so he will be able to drive me back to NJ if it actually does happen. If not, we'll be able to get nice lunch afterwards!

All these endings call for an equal number of beginnings. I want to get my license during maternity leave so I need to start studying for the oral. Then, of course, there will be a huge change from going to work everyday with grownups to being a full time mom with 2 kids. All this will be caused by the birth of our little baby girl. Terran will be a big brother soon as he curiously touches the new crib and kindly kisses the baby in my tummy good night.





Terran and his friend Matt who came over to celebrate his 2nd birthday.



We took a trip to Montreal in July for the Jazz Festival. Terran had no patience to stand in the crowd and listen to music, so we didn't get the experience much of Jazz. But it was a great scene in a great city.



I bought Terran a huge soft serve. It kept him quiet and happy for a pretty long time. People looked at his face covered with ice cream and smiled. I don't know what they were thinking but I just didn't feel like cleaning him every time he licked.



We did a small birthday party for Terran at his daycare. Terran turning 2 was quite emotional for me. At 1, he was still a baby, but at 2, he has changed and matured so much. And to think that he was just a little baby who couldn't walk or talk, just a little while ago. Now, he is full of emotions and expressions, full of humor and sometimes anger. He's a boy who has desires and can communicate all that.