helvetica

I just watched a movie called "helvetica" with Patrick. Basically, its a documentary about the type font Helvetica - history, comments, thoughts, love, hate, whatever. It's somewhat interesting. I was into it for the first 45 minutes then my mind went elsewhere, started thinking about abundance of fonts and lack of hand written words.

Handwriting has become an immensely personal tool. I began thinking about the people that I was close to in my adolescent days. I know the handwriting of my best friend. I know the handwriting of each of my family members. I still even remember the handwriting of the guy that I had a crush on. Fast forward to college. I think about my husband's handwriting through the little notes he left for me on post-its pasted on my dorm room door. At that time, I thought his writing was serious, a little immature, and extremely clear - basically, himself on a piece of yellow sticky. I can also recall some of my friends' writings. I think about a person's face and for those people that I've known for a long time, I can recall their handwritings. It's something personal that belongs to them and it makes me smile to just think about them.

The problem arises when I think about the people that I met after college. I guess there was never a need to exchange handwritten notes, and there was never an opportunity to see their writings. I just don't know what their handwritings look like. Even for those who I became very close to, I just don't know it and I wish I did.

These days, I only write by hand when I write a thank you card, or a card to include in a gift box (I write notes and make lists for myself but they don't count). I like writing by hand - it makes me a little nervous because I can't push the delete button like I do so often on the computer. I like it because if I don't know how to spell something, I just sort of scribble to fudge it. I also scribble when I don't know if the word that I just wrote is an actual word.

When my friend left after college, we promised to write to each other rather than email, just because we never get anything meaningful in the mailbox anymore. That lasted for a couple of years and correspondence seized for years. Now, 10 years later, we are using technology.

I've encountered problems with fonts. Every once in a blue moon, I receive very personal emails where it's just more than hellos. I read this email, understand it, but never quite get the sense of it. Sometimes, I don't even know how to trust it and question it's authenticity. When this happens, the only thing I can do is to touch the computer screen, to actually touch the words and to find some meaning - I can't say this really helps. If the same sentences were handwritten, I don't think I would question the content at all.

When I write an email to my husband, just to ask him to pick up something after work or whatever, I write "i love you" before signing my name. I do this just because I like saying it and I say it to him and also to my kids countless times during the day. When I say it, I think they can feel my words. But when I type it, it seems so empty - I don't even trust what I am writing. I told this to Pat and he says it's better that I type it then not, so guess I will continue doing it. But I just cannot convey what I want to tell him in those 3 simple words in a typed form. All feelings lost and only words remain.

Maybe I will handwrite my next blog entry. That means that I have to go find a pen and a paper. That's a lot of work in itself.