Still pregnant

I've been off work for since 8/16. Pat was so worried for the first part of August that I would go into Labor somewhere far from home. So we decided that instead of working til the end, I should just stay home and wait for the baby to show up. Now that I am home, his stress and worries are gone and we are just wondering when she's going to decide to come out. Terran was born exactly 3 weeks before the due date at 37 weeks. So I approximated that this one would, too. But 37 weeks have come and gone and she is still happily inside my system.

Terran is still at daycare full time and Pat is at work so I spend time in my quiet house doing this and that. It's really the calm before the storm. Who knows what it will be like next week. My mom and dad will be here. My sister and her husband will be here. It will be Terran's last week of full time daycare so he will be in and out. Pat may or may not be on paternity leave depending on where the baby is going to be; inside or out.

My urge to nest have gotten me clean everything in the house. I bleached the bathrooms and the grout between the tiles until they are all sparkling white. I stripped the caulking around the shower and the tub and re-caulked them. I cleaned the floor and the floor tile grout. I cleaned out all the storage closets and got rid of years worth of junk and paper. This is totally hormonal because usually, I don't give a damn.

I am suppose to go back to work in Feb 2008. I get comments that that's a long maternity leave, but I don't know if it's long enough or maybe too long. I was happily at home with Terran for a year but I am not sure if I am going to have the urge to go back to work or not. Sometimes, I fear for my love for this little baby. I've gotten so used to the family of 3 with Pat, Terran, and myself. I'm just so crazy about Terran and watch his every move with adoration. Am I capable of loving another child as much as Terran? Am I going to be able to accept that I won't be able to give as much attention to Terran as I do now? The thought totally scares me. I've never heard of a mom who doesn't love all her kids. So there's some comfort in that but I hope I won't be the first....


The weather is cooling down so we can go pick berries on Saturday mornings. Terran is more interested in eating rather than picking.


We also cut fresh flowers at the same place where we get berries. I pick the flowers and Terran cuts for me.


He lines up all his toys with wheels and makes a "choo-choo train". I put a camping chair at the end and sit there so he won't make me sit in one of his toy cars, in which I can barely fit.

Terran's first poop. It's tiny but authentic!!! He did a big number right after this in his diaper....

Terran and Big Mama after picking berries.