April

It's really peaceful when both of the kids are sleeping at the same time. I think the temperature outside is about70 today so I was able to take them out to the park after lunch. That must have tired them out. Yay!

Recently, I have been looking for my friend who I last contacted about a year ago. I am not that great at searching for people online. Her name is Jenny Chang and she now works at microsoft in Seattle. Do you know her? If you do, will you email me with her email? My email has not changed in the last 10 years. She apprently changed her email address and her cell phone number. I hate it when people do that. We don't have any mutual friends and I sent her a holiday card at her parents house with all my info but never heard back from her. She was going to visit me around this time last year. It was a last minute thing. Out of nowhere, she called to say she wants to come over the next day. So I said OK. Then there was a snow storm and her car broke down etc. etc. And she didn't come. I know her from college but our history is longer than that. As we were chatting back in 1997, we discovered that our dads worked for the same company and that we use to play as children on occasions. At first meeting, I found her extremely eccentric but after I warmed up to her, we became good friends. I miss her....

Sierra and I started mommy & baby exercise class. I was excited when I signed up for it but now, I dread going every tuesday. It's so hard! Needless to say, all the moms including myself, are FAT. Oh, except for one - mom of the twins. She's skin and bones.

Ooops. Peace interrupted. It's Sierra. She slept through the first 4 months of her life. Now she's happy to be up and playing. She's the most adorable thing and I get lots of comments on how beautiful she is. I usually carry her around in my ergo baby carrier - the best sling ever - so she is at people's eye level - or a little shorter since I am short. When a stranger comes up to say hello to her, she gives a hesitant smile. It's so cute.


Here is one who interrupted peace. No big deal since she was so smiley and peaceful when she woke up.

Baby pppttttt

So here is an update from yesterday's blog. Thank you Lloyd san for enhancing my skills! This is great.

Baby pppttttt

I don't know how to better link to YouTube via blogspot. You know that screen that you just click on and it plays??? Teach me if you do. But in the mean time, visit YouTube via below link and see our Sierra. She's 6 months now and oh so sweet!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQr3S99FaP8

Photos

My babies are growing quickly. Terran grew another inch last month. He's also talking a lot more in complete sentences. He's passionate about trains and most of his sentences are about trains. He is creative and imaginative. Since we haven't had a chance to take him on a train ride in a month or so, he pretends that he is standing on the platform, watching trains of various speeds and sizes pass by, until the right train comes. Then he gets on his imaginary train and usually takes us all for a ride.

Sierra recently found her other hand. She brings both of her hands together in front of her face and curiously studies them for a long time. I also started giving her some baby food but she spits out 95% of it.

Here are some recent photos:

Terran loves to play with the Stereo. He knows everything about it and he can play whatever music he wants by himself. These days we are still stuck in December listening to Christmas songs and also the Beatles; Pat is sick of listening to the Beatles' upbeat tunes all day long.


Terran sometimes just wants to hold Sierra. But she gets angry pretty quickly.


Happy Sierra playing on the floor. Although I cannot capture her smiles on photo too often, she is usually very smiley. In the morning when I got into her room, she is so happy that she kicks and waves her arms around with a big smile on her face. She is just such a sweetie and so beautiful. She loves being held. In fact, she probably thinks I am an extension of her.


Sitting in her bouncy chair and swinging toys around. Her voice and her actions are very feminine.

I think babies look best in white. With girls clothes, it's hard to stay away from the pinks because 75% of baby girl clothes sold are pink. I love this white fuzzy sweater on Sierra. She looks so cozy and beautiful. During last doctor's appointment, I found out that she is short and chubby, just like her mom. She is also starting to express her opinion. She sits with Pat quietly in the morning while he eats his breakfast but as soon as she sees me come into the kitchen, she whines and calls to be picked up. I hold her a lot. Maybe because of that, she has not expressed any interest in rolling over.

Remebering past and present elections

Present 20008:
We went to a friend's house for Super Bowl yesterday. There, we met a guy who volunteers for the Obama Campaign. He says he passes out fliers at the mall. According to him, the county that we live in votes strongly for Obama. He said there were so many volunteers for this weekend that he was not needed. Probably true because when we were sitting around at home earlier that day, an Obama campaign volunteer came knocking on our door. On Republican side, the county votes for Ron Paul. Although he would be our Republican candidate of choice, this is a bit hard to believe....

Past 2004:
I made a bet with my colleague about who would win the election. My colleague said he is an independent but usually votes for a Republican. However, for this election, he was voting for Kerry and thought that he would win. I would have voted for Kerry as well but I didn't think he could win. So I won the bet, got a free lunch, and we all got another 4 years of Bush.

Past 1996:
Second year, first semester in college. I took a Intro to Political Science class to fulfill a requirement. I was very new to this country and did not know much about American Politics but this was the perfect time to take this class since it was election time. In my discussion session of 30 or so, 29 were Democrats. The last one grew up believed he was a Republican because his parents were, but now felt stupid and shameful that he actually thought that way and will now vote for a Democrat. Having no other exposure to America's political opinion other than this classroom in Berkeley, I naturally thought this is how America thinks. Although Clinton ended up winning the election, I was blown away to find out that almost half of America voted against him. Later, I learned that how Berkeley thinks may be a bit different from the rest of America. Although my ideas were formed during this time in life, I now find comfort in having Republican friends. With people of various ideas coexisting, I found a more normal environment when we moved out of the Bay Area. Now I think that the differences make for a healthier city.

Past 1988:
I am surprised that I vaguely remember this election. I was only 11 years old and living in Farmington, New Mexico with an American family. I remember that no one wanted to admit to who they are voting for. For some reason, I thought that they would be voting for Bush.

Past also 1988:
I remember Jesse Jackson in the primaries. We were watching TV in Yokohama, probably in the summer time when we went back there for a couple months. My dad was eating dinner late and we watched the news. Photos of the candidates came up on the screen and one was black. My dad commented on how important it was for America that a black candidate was running. I had no understanding of American politics. I did not understand why it was so special that there was a black candidate. I thought they were all the same.

There's something in the air

I can't even vote and I am following the campaign more closely than most Americans. Mostly because I am at home all day and what am I suppose to do when Sierra is asleep and Terran is at school? Patrick and I are both Obama supporters and it surprises us to hear that New Jersey is leaning so strongly towards Clinton. I suppose it's the proximity to her state of New York. To us, the choice is obvious.
I remember first hearing his speech in the 2004 Democratic Convention. We sat there in front of our little TV saying, "wow, who is this dude. He should run for President instead of the Old John Kerry." Read his 2004 key note. Since then, I saw him on Oprah introducing his book, I saw him grooving on Ellen; and now all the channels I flip through at any hour of the day. I read both his books, The Audacity of Hope and Dreams from My Father (although I did read Hillary's autobiography as well). Seeing him on TV and reading his books definitely made me a captive audience and a supporter. It's clearly obvious that even the media is enamored by him. Their words are always so harsh towards the Clintons but with Obama, there's very little of that. Fox news, the republican channel, is the most fun to watch, since they love to trash Hillary and say things like "I wish the Clintons would diappear" but to Obama, they say "I'm a conservative and he inspires me."

I recently found this little video clip and this is what I really like about him. OK, I can't figure out how to upload video so you have to go there yourself and check it out.

With all this said, on Tuesday, Pat will get up at 6am and run down to the fire station to be one of the first to vote. I will just stay in bed.

I watched the California debate with Terran last night. I taught him to be an Obama supporter. Now he says, "go Obama!" and to Hillary, he just shakes his head. So cute.

Another thing that I wanted to mention is about experience. Hillary boasts on her years of experience and that gets to me. When I go to job interviews and they tell me that they are only going to offer me so little money for me to work there, the reason is always due to my lack of experience. But I always argue that I picked up so much more and know more than the years actually shown on my resume. Even though I believe strongly that this is true, not many people buy it. But I just think that experience is often over rated.

Shoot, only 10:30am and Sierra is up already from her nap....

It's been awhile

It's been awhile since I wrote here. For the holidays, we were able to spend a week in NYC, thanks to our friends who let us use their apartment. Patrick took Terran to all the places that he would be interested in going, like the Train Museum and the Natural History Museum. Sierra and I took walks around Chelsea, shopped at H&M, and had lunch with my sister. We had a good time but we were ready to come home and get back to the routine. Both Terran and Sierra like their routines and the stuff they have at home. So after a few days, Terran seemed a bit grumpy and not totally his happy self.

Now, the new year has started and we are back to our routine. Terran is talking so much more now and learns the words that we teach him quickly. He loves to play with his wooden trains and tracks along with Legos. We were playing and he said "mama, more dark". I said "huh? what?" He seemed frustrated that I didn't understand him. Then he pointed to the tunnel that we built earlier and said "dark". I told him that it's dark inside but it's actually called a tunnel. And so he went about his business. When we played with the same toys again next day, he was already asking me to build a "tunnel".

I also try to teach him Japanese. He can say gomi shu shu sha (garbage truck), sho bo sha (fire truck), kyu kyu sha (ambulance), eki (train station), and words of that nature. He's sweet. He's so nice to Sierra and likes to hold her in his lap. He gives her a kiss before he goes to bed. If she's crying, he will say "Sisi, don't cry". Sometimes, she flings her arm around and hits Terran. Then he comes to me and say "Sisi hurt me". He doesn't understand that she doesn't have good control of her arms yet.

Sierra is a good natured baby. She's happy except when she's tired. She can only stay up happily for 1.5 hours or so. After that, she gets tired and needs to sleep. She laughs when she sees something she likes. When I got to her in the morning, she gets excited and swings her arounds and kicks with her legs all over with a big smile. I am at home and always with her. She likes to be held but now, she is able to sit on the bouncy chair or play in the saucer. She has eczema, like me (how unfortunate...). We went to her 4 month appointment and found out that she's short and fat, also like me (also how unfortunate...). I was suppose to go back to work in Feb but decided against it. I think I will stay with her until she turns 1.

Preparing for Beijing

The only time that I was in Beijing was in 1996. Summer between my freshman and sophomore year in college. At that time, some improvements had been made to the city's transportation in preparation for a bid to an earlier Oympics, I think the 2000. Improvement basically meant mini-bus access throughout the city. There may have been trains but I surely did not ride it. I loved the crowd, the dirt, the food, and the gray air and gray buildings of the city. I hated the heat and the diarrhea that I got from eating the food.

Now, I am just trying to think how the city is going to handle the crowd this coming summer. It was crowded on a regular summer day. The buses were always packed. All the tourist spots were always packed. Add to that the millions of foreign visitors who are going to flock the city; it's going to be a chaos.

There's so much money poured into construction in preparations for the 2008 Beijing Olympics.
My uncle-in-law sent me some articles about it. The European hot shots have their names on several of the largest newest structures. Amidst all the bustle, I found something that I actually liked; a serene, peaceful, yet ultra-contemporary creation: Ullens Center for Contemporary Art. From the image that I saw, there is a definite similarity to the Kimbell Museum that I visited with my colleagues back in 2003. It goes against all the obnoxious creations elsewhere in the city. Beijing needs something like this.

I am not that interested in going to the Olympics. I don't want to deal with the crowd, the heat, or the diarrhea. But I would love to visit the Ullens Center. Hey, maybe when we are all done raising kids, say 20 years from now, we can take another "educational" architectural trip; this time to Beijing.

checkout the article on LA Times

Birthday Unch (poop)!

Terran did his big number on the toilet for the first time ever, and it was on my birthday!!!! Yes, he's done a really small one before but this one was the real deal! It even smelled up the whole bathroom and beyond!!! I was so happy that I cried and hugged and kissed him on the toilet afterwards. Who knew that a great big poop could mean so much. He was quite proud of himself as well. Later in the day, he must have forgotten about our big morning celebration because he went again, twice, in his diaper.... Nonetheless, a great beginning and an excellent birthday present for me! Terran calls it "unch", which is basically poop in Japanese - but with a slight American accent since it's more Pat who taught him the word.

Last day to be 30.

Tomorrow is my birthday and I will be turning 31. Looking back at the past year, all I remember was being busy. I don't really see myself anymore when I think back. I just see Terran running around and making a lot of noise. I see Pat coming home from work, and I see Sierra being born....

Actually, I do see one thing that happened to me. It was in August and I was very pregnant and at least 30 lb my usual weight. I was in NYC for work and when I got out of Penn Station, I see a long long cab line which is unusual at that particular spot. Then I find out from someone that the Subway had been flooded due to early morning storm. I called the field to see if our meeting is still on and whether I should try to get there. Yes, it's still on, try to come. OK.... So I miserably stood at the end of the line. If you don't know this, it's very uncomfortable to be pregnant and be standing still. After 5 minutes, my back was already cramping. Then, from way ahead of the line, a woman came up to me and asked me if I wanted to share a cab. I'd love to, I said. And cut in line about 1 hour ahead of where I started. It turned out to be a group of 3 women plus me sharing the cab. We were all going uptown, east side. There was another woman who was only 4 months pregnant but were expecting twins and was as big as I was. We chatted, bitched, complained about work, and got into our cab half an hour later. Our pregnant feet and backs were hurting from so much waiting and standing. But that day, I was just so thankful that they picked my miserable ass from the line to be with them. It made the time go by a little faster, and it made me think that New Yorkers can be really kind when things like this happen. In fact, Americans are really good to one another and to strangers when put in an unusual situation. This may not be much but its about the only thing that I strongly recall that does not involve my family.

I know that my thirties will be totally devoted to my family. The first 3 decades of my life were totally about me so it seems to make sense that I give my all to the little ones for the next 2. Each day is a challenge but its a good one.

A little note about our local newspaper "The Times". It doesn't even have a regional name to it, like the LA Times or the NY Times. It sounds grand doesn't it? Well, guess what's on the front page for the last 4 days. A story about a Princeton dog who may or may not be on a death sentence for mauling a landscaper. This morning, there was a huge picture of the dog owner and his 2 children on the front page. If I see this stupid article on the front page again, I am going to cancel the paper!!!! Oh wait, Christmas is coming, that means lots of ads. I love the ads. They're the best. I don't really read the paper, but I study the ads. They're the best.

That was a long blog. Can you tell Sierra is sleeping a lot today?



Halloween: Sierra as a pea pod and Terran as Thomas the tank engine!


Terran loves being outside and he has the greatest smile.

We picked out a little chair for Sierra so she can sit with us during dinner (if she is willing....)

This autumn, Terran loved playing in the leaves. He would jump into them, mess up the nice pile of leaves that our neighbor raked, and picks up some flowers that are still alive to bring to me. Once, I forgot that he was holding my keys and we started running into the leaves and rolling around in it. Later, I realized that my keys were missing and I remembered that Terran had them last. We looking in the pile but could not find them and it was already pretty dark. I sheepishly mentioned this to Pat when he got home.... Next morning, Pat and Terran went to search and finally rescued the missing keys.

Photo of Pat and sleeping Sierra. Her skin looks so nice and plump.

Back to normal

My mom left about 3 weeks ago and Pat's parents came and left 2 weeks ago. Now, we are back to normal +1. I am once again a SAHM (stay at home mom), and I couldn't possibly be any busier. I work non-stop from the moment I wake up til we go to sleep. For some reason, I am able to keep my energy up. It really helps that Sis (that's what I call Sierra now, pronounced like "sees") is a good sleeper. Terran is also very good to her and pats her gently when she cries. He seems to know to be very gentle around her and has not yet done anything to hurt her at all. On the other hand, I am feeling a bit anti-social and really haven't made any effort to contact too many people since Sierra's birth. Planning to meet some new people through mom's groups around this place.
On a good note, I passed my final ARE so now, I am ready to take the California Supplementary Exam. I am not as happy as I should be to have finished the ARE. It's more of a relief. I sent in to make an appointment for the exam but haven't heard back from them yet. Will be back in SF in March or LA in May. Not sure yet.


Pat and Terran did a 10K in Lawrenceville, right around our neighborhood. Terran sits and eats and drinks in his jogging stroller while Pat huffs and puffs, pushing him on the road. They've done a few 5K's but this was their first 10K together.


Pat and Sierra in the morning while having breakfast together before work.

My mom and Sierra sometime in September. I really like this picture of my mom. I think the lighting was good and she looks great and happy to be a baba (that's what Terran calls my mom) of a little girl.

Sierra in September. She was really small and skinny then. I guess this was within the first 2 weeks of birth since she still has the umbilical cord. Now she is quite fat.

Sierra's one month

Sierra is one month old today. She has been such a great baby that time went by very fast. She sleeps well at night. In fact, she sleeps well anytime. Most of the time, she is sleeping. Yesterday, we went to the Italian American festival, here in Mercer County. Terran ran around but Sisi slept through the whole thing. Amazing!

A rare moment when she was awake. She has my little eyes and tiny lashes. She's much more calm than Terran. She seems to know all about how life works. She knows to get sleep now when she really can. She loves to bathe. The first time, and every time after, she stayed calm and happy and didn't cry. I think she may have an old and wise soul.



Terran on the other hand is always running around and always curious. He has Pat's eyes and long beautiful lashes. He never stops until he sleeps. He is more verbal these days and likes to sing. He's young and active. These days when he sweats, he stinks - not a baby any more. I told him he stinks like a man, and he thought that was great and kept on saying "man! man!". He wanted to tie his hair back, just like how I tie my hair, and get his picture taken. He thought that was funny. Haha.

Terran and Sierra

weight lost since delivery: 16 lb. (19 more to go)

Within 2 weeks of Sierra's birth, Terran came down with a bad flu involving fever and ear infection. This is his first ear infection and unlike his other sicknesses that his had, he was crying with pain. Poor baby. Now, his fever is gone and he is taking antibiotics for his ears so he is happily running around once again.

Sierra is a sweetie. She doesn't cry much and seems as content as babies could be. She probably sleeps about 20 hours a day. I was worried that she sleeps so much so I had to ask the doctor if this was normal and the doc told me that it's a normal good baby. I had a hard time with Terran when he was a baby so this is a nice change!



Terran was a bit jealous at the beginning but doesn't seem that way anymore. He always looks for Sierra and wants to hold her. He helps me change her diaper.


My 2 babies: Terran holding Sierra while she cries....

Sierra

Our little baby girl, Sierra, was born on Aug. 30, 10 days earlier than expected and just 12 hours after my parents came in from japan. My contractions got really bad so Pat and I left home and got to the hospital around 5am. I had her out by 7am. I was already 7cm dilated by the time we got there. There was no time for epidural and I delivered her drug free. After hours of labor, I just wanted a moment of relief before I had to push her out so I pleaded for the drug. But it would have taken at least an hour to get the drug and for it to kick in. Not being able to withstand the pain any longer, I just decided to go for it. It was short but hard labor and delivery. Immediately after birth, I got cold and my whole body shook for an hour. But after that, I felt so great that I just wanted to eat, take a shower, and go out shopping for new clothes that would fit! The recovery time for this second baby that was delivered naturally was next to none. I wanted to jump up and down and go play with my little Terran at home. Sierra so far has been beautiful, quiet, and sleepy. Her eyes are rarely open and she just nurses, sleeps, and poops. She's a tiny 6 lb baby. We just love her!

Still pregnant

I've been off work for since 8/16. Pat was so worried for the first part of August that I would go into Labor somewhere far from home. So we decided that instead of working til the end, I should just stay home and wait for the baby to show up. Now that I am home, his stress and worries are gone and we are just wondering when she's going to decide to come out. Terran was born exactly 3 weeks before the due date at 37 weeks. So I approximated that this one would, too. But 37 weeks have come and gone and she is still happily inside my system.

Terran is still at daycare full time and Pat is at work so I spend time in my quiet house doing this and that. It's really the calm before the storm. Who knows what it will be like next week. My mom and dad will be here. My sister and her husband will be here. It will be Terran's last week of full time daycare so he will be in and out. Pat may or may not be on paternity leave depending on where the baby is going to be; inside or out.

My urge to nest have gotten me clean everything in the house. I bleached the bathrooms and the grout between the tiles until they are all sparkling white. I stripped the caulking around the shower and the tub and re-caulked them. I cleaned the floor and the floor tile grout. I cleaned out all the storage closets and got rid of years worth of junk and paper. This is totally hormonal because usually, I don't give a damn.

I am suppose to go back to work in Feb 2008. I get comments that that's a long maternity leave, but I don't know if it's long enough or maybe too long. I was happily at home with Terran for a year but I am not sure if I am going to have the urge to go back to work or not. Sometimes, I fear for my love for this little baby. I've gotten so used to the family of 3 with Pat, Terran, and myself. I'm just so crazy about Terran and watch his every move with adoration. Am I capable of loving another child as much as Terran? Am I going to be able to accept that I won't be able to give as much attention to Terran as I do now? The thought totally scares me. I've never heard of a mom who doesn't love all her kids. So there's some comfort in that but I hope I won't be the first....


The weather is cooling down so we can go pick berries on Saturday mornings. Terran is more interested in eating rather than picking.


We also cut fresh flowers at the same place where we get berries. I pick the flowers and Terran cuts for me.


He lines up all his toys with wheels and makes a "choo-choo train". I put a camping chair at the end and sit there so he won't make me sit in one of his toy cars, in which I can barely fit.

Terran's first poop. It's tiny but authentic!!! He did a big number right after this in his diaper....

Terran and Big Mama after picking berries.

nearing the end and nearing the beginning

At this point, I am nearing the end of 3 major event: work, pregnancy, and ARE. I've been working for a year in Philly now and it has been alright. That is coming to an end due another one of my extended maternity leaves. I am a bit relieved and looking forward to this end which will occur in a week.

My months of pregnancy is also coming to an end. I am at 35 weeks now, and although it's a bit early for delivery, I feel that it can come anytime. Pat is always nervous that I am going to go into labor in Philly or NY. I still need to go to the construction meeting in NY tomorrow and he's been trying to talk me out of it. I think I will be OK. My baby has come down lower in my tummy, which means that she's ready to join us anytime.

I started taking my ARE in 2004. After 3 years, I am almost done. My last exam will be next week and I will be done with it. Due to the stress, I've heard that there has been many cases of pregnant women going into labor during exams. I usually remain relaxed but just in case, I asked Pat to be in Philly that day so he will be able to drive me back to NJ if it actually does happen. If not, we'll be able to get nice lunch afterwards!

All these endings call for an equal number of beginnings. I want to get my license during maternity leave so I need to start studying for the oral. Then, of course, there will be a huge change from going to work everyday with grownups to being a full time mom with 2 kids. All this will be caused by the birth of our little baby girl. Terran will be a big brother soon as he curiously touches the new crib and kindly kisses the baby in my tummy good night.





Terran and his friend Matt who came over to celebrate his 2nd birthday.



We took a trip to Montreal in July for the Jazz Festival. Terran had no patience to stand in the crowd and listen to music, so we didn't get the experience much of Jazz. But it was a great scene in a great city.



I bought Terran a huge soft serve. It kept him quiet and happy for a pretty long time. People looked at his face covered with ice cream and smiled. I don't know what they were thinking but I just didn't feel like cleaning him every time he licked.



We did a small birthday party for Terran at his daycare. Terran turning 2 was quite emotional for me. At 1, he was still a baby, but at 2, he has changed and matured so much. And to think that he was just a little baby who couldn't walk or talk, just a little while ago. Now, he is full of emotions and expressions, full of humor and sometimes anger. He's a boy who has desires and can communicate all that.

Hot, Heavy, and Tired

I am 32 weeks pregnant and I already gained 3o lbs. With Terran, I gained 32 lbs total so I am gaining more this time than last.... I probably do eat a lot, and I do have 3 pints of ice cream (strawberry, green tea, and coffee almond fudge) in my freezer, but I do move a lot. On a not so hot and humid day, I park 10 min from the office so that I can get the extra walk in am and pm. I chase Terran around and carry him when he wants up. I still cook dinner, although that is getting very hard. In the summer here, it doesn't seem to make sense to turn on the gas when it's so hot. Even with the AC on, the act of cooking raises the room temperature by 2 degree F. Cooking and being near the stove, it probably raises my body temp by 5 degrees. Pregnancy is hard but to think that this could be my last is kind of sad. I still want another baby but so many people want more but stop at 2. There must be a good reason for that. I think about my age and think that I am too young to be having my last kid when so many others haven't even started yet. I probably have another 10 years to get pregnant if I wanted. Oh, who know. Maybe we will think that 2 is more than we can handle. I don't know. She moves and kicks a lot now, and whenever I feel the movement, I try to stop what I am doing and enjoy the motion, because I may not experience this again....

Terran, who use to be nicely contained in my body, is now all over the place. He runs this way and that way, he wants up, down, he climbs and he falls, his knees are scratched most of the time. He now puts words together to make a short sentence. He calls me mama, but also calls me by my name. Sometimes, I can't believe how cute he is, and I can't believe how much I can love him. Sometimes, I fear that I may not be able to love our daughter as much as I love Terran. How can I possibly love another child so much??? Pat says not to worry but I worry.

Terran turned 2. We had a little party for him; we also went to Montreal. Pictures to be posted....

Growing

As I write this, I am thinking that I only write here about once a season now. I should try to frequent it a little more. Everything is growing these days, including myself. Terran is now a little boy, no longer a baby. He communicates with us and puts up a good fight. He was slow to start growing physically but his clothes are finally getting small now. His feet are bigger and smelly at the end of the day from so much action. He is sort of starting to pee in the toilet. He's still my baby but he doesn't act like one anymore.... My tummy is getting huge and I am so heavy these days. The only relief I get is when we go to the pool on a hot day and I get to bounce, almost weightlessly, in the cool water. I was not so eager to get a swim suit for my pregnant self but after a hot day, I just went and got one, and it's the best maternity outfit I've gotten so far.
I am entering my nesting phase. We set up the kids' room with the baby in mind. I move furniture all around the house, trying to get Pat to help. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. And when he doesn't, it just pisses me off. If I weren't pregnant, I could do all of it myself but it's just not possible now. He puts up a big stink about moving things and I just don't understand why.

Spring is here!

We came back from our long vacation and I am so happy to be home. Things have definitely changed around here to bring my spirit up. The weather has been gorgeous and the flowers are in full bloom. It's nice to have our own space and a quiet backyard to play. In drastic contrast to my attitude in the winter, I am so happy to be here!

This weekend was full of excitment but I forgot to carry my camera. On Saturday, we went to the Kite Day at Terhune Orchard. There, we helped Terran make his first kite and let it fly up in the sky. Terran also got to ride around in little tractors and eat donuts and apple cider slushy. We also saw birds, horses, and dogs. The eggs of the geese have hatched and we are seeing little yellow baby goslings running about behind their parents. We saw them by the mall, at the farm, and by a lake. They are everywhere.

Today, Terran participated in his first race with Pat. Lawrenceville School had their Big Red Race. Pat pushed Terran in his running stroller for 5K and they both did really well. I was worried that Terran may scream to get out of his seat but he was a good partner to Pat.

We recently found out that our little fetus is a girl! We are all very excited about this. Imagine all the pink clothes and cute dresses that I will get to buy her!

See what I mean? I am so happy about every little thing now. I am glad it's warm.

off for 10 days!

We are going back to California for 10 days! What a treat. Pat has a cancer conference at the convention center. Supposedly, the conference will be attended by 18,ooo people. What do you do with so many people? In the mean time, Terran and I will wonder around Los Angeles. We plan to get together with my sister and also some friends, and spend a few days doing this and that. Terran is so into train these days so I am thinking of taking him to the Grove to ride on the tram. Then we are off to the Bay Area for another half of our vacation where Pat really gets to spend some time with us. Yay! Since we've got his parents there, so we are planning to do more grown up things at night like eating out and going to Yoshi's. We hardly do things like that any more, and that's ok but it will be nice to go on a date with Pat again. Then, we will come home and crash of exhaustion since we are not used to being up late these days! How we've changed since our non-parenting days....
I am excited to go to California but I am most excited about not having to cook for the next 10 days. I am so tired of cooking. It will definitely be a nice break. Hurray!

Terran is not a gai-jin

My attempt to bring Japanese naturally into his language has been pitifully failing so far. I mostly use English with everyone so I haven't been so careful and conscious about switching to Japanese with him. However,today, I've discovered the most basic yet the core of Japanese essence in Terran. It's a cultural characteristic which is deeply rooted within us: the love of natto!
Natto is goowy fermented soy beans which (according to Pat) stinks like someone's nasty feet. Natto always come in little styrofoam box. To obtain the perfect goowy texture, one must add a bit of soy sauce, some mustard, and mix like crazy. The mixture releases the perfect scent (or odor), and it's ready to be put on top of hot bowl of rice. When I eat it, Pat yells: "are you eating that shit again?" "I can smell it from upstairs".... So I quietly, and somewhat shamefully, eat one of my favorite food in the world. These days, they actually sell reduced-smell natto. I bought that instead of my usual brand and Pat was pleased with the results.
Anyway, I was happily eating my natto today when Terran saw (perhaps smelled) them in my bowl. I had achieved perfection with my natto today with just the right amount of soy sauce, mustard, some dashi, and lots of mixing. Terran is usually not so adventurous with food but he really wanted to try them. So I put a mouthful in his mouth, expecting him to spit it out and walk away. But he swallowed and wanted more. And more and more. He finished my bowl and absolutely loved it.
I just laughed and told Terran how funny and surprising that was. Pat was just shoked. Terran has once again proven to be my offspring.

more photos

We went to visit Reyko in NYC and went to the cloisters. It's a very beautiful, peaceful, quiet, and spiritual place. Terran loved it there - he excitedly ran around and screamed with joy!


Little Terran in the big cloister space.

On a nice autumn day in Lawrenceville.

Sneaking up to the laptop while dada is not looking. These days, he likes me to go on construction equipment website and we look at pictures of excavators. He calls them "digger". This is part of his early vocabularies.

On Pat's 30th birthday, we got a lemon tart and 3 candles.

Recent photos

I haven't uploaded any pictures of Terran lately. He is not a baby anymore. He runs around like a kid, and understands us like a person. When I think I can't possibly love him anymore than I do already, I fall in love even deeper.

Playing with blocks with dada.

Eating and playing with his food on the kitchen floor.

Getting lots of love from dada.

We love this photo: the expression on his face and the drool on his shirt.


Although he is afriad of the sound of vacuum cleaners, he like to play with fake ones. Here he made up his own vacuum cleaner with a pan and a lid. And he walks around the house making vacuum sounds.

When I thought that spring has finally arrived....

It was 75 degrees on Wednesday. The spring has hit us with a bang and I loved it. Two days later, I look outside, and the ground is covered in snow. What more can I say?
I caught a cold two weeks ago from Terran, and although he has recovered completely, I am still suffering from it. My voice still sounds husky and I've had continuous headaches for the past 4 days.
This may be a good time to announce that I am pregnant again. So the headaches, I am told, may be related to early pregnancy. Yes! Although I am sick and dreary right now, we are very excited about our newest member. We named the fetus QP2. Terran in him womb days, was known as QP. I am about 14 weeks and this pregnancy has been a little more difficult than the first. For Pat, he's never had a sibling, so it's a very special thing for him to have more than one child. He is really looking forward to a girl, and if we don't get one, he said we can consider a QP3.... Whatever. I haven't told the bosses at work yet, but I don't think they will be surprised. Since I started there in August, I've seen 2 people go one materinity leave and know of 2 others who are pregnant. It's a very fertile time there.

winter again

The winter is getting worse. We are having a streak of below freezing temperature. It snowed the other day and I was frightened to drive. The most depressing thing is the snow in the city. After a few hours, the white snow turns completely black from the cars. The snow on the side of the streets is just black mush. It makes me sad and sick at the same time.
Out here in NJ, there's not so much traffic so the snow stays white. But it's just unbarebly cold. I can't wait for some warmth.
Other than that, things are pretty normal. I passed my ME exam that I thought I did so horribly. I guess I passed horribly but at least that's off my list.... Moving on to next one.
Terran is becoming more and more conscience out his surroundings. Most days, I pick him up from daycare by 4pm. But on some days, I don't come home until he is almost ready to go to bed. Those days, I just miss him so much and wonder if I am doing this all wrong.
The other day, I had an afternoon meeting in NY and didn't get home until 7. Terran and Pat was waiting for me by the door. Pat said that he opened the door for Terran and when he saw that my car wasn't there, he started crying. He was holding my sweater that I wore the day before (probably picked it off the floor in our bedroom), and waiting for me, looking through the storm door. Having a child is a very emotional experience. This was one that really broke my heart. It felt like I had done it wrong. Two late nights (which is anything after 4) a week is just too much for him. It's definitely a struggle. In addition, I just don't feel like I am doing my job that well. I want winter to be over!

Remember me?

I haven't blogged in awhile. That's because it's just too cold to do anything anymore. In the morning, I see that ice has eaten my car as well as everything around it. They say it's a mild winter; yeah right. I wouldn't describe this as mild at all. I park a couple of blocks away from work and so I have to walk. I've got a stylish but heavy black winter coat, with black hat and a warm scarf. I like the look but it's not enough to block the cold wind. What I really need is a mask. When the icy wind hits my face, I can't help but to let out a small scream. It's just so painful it takes my breath away. People shouldn't have to live in places like this. We should all migrate south for the winter.
Our little Terran is really growing up. He is able to say a few things now. His favorite phrase is "up please!" Well, when he says it, it sounds more like "up eeee!" He's no a baby anymore but he still loves being held. He's been calling Pat "dada" for awhile but he finally started calling me "mama". Before, he would also refer to me as "dada". He's just a really happy, usually easy going guy. He is amazingly similar to his dad, not only the way he looks, but also in his attitude and behavior. I wouldn't put Pat and cool together but Terran definitely thinks highly of him and considers him cool.
Pictures to come....

Meeting in Manhattan

I recently went to my first out of office meeting. The projects that I am working on are in NYC so I went there for a quick afternoon trip to attend the meeting in east coast style. East coast style means that all of the trips are made using trains rather than cars which I am most accustomed to. Since I live in between Philadelphia and Manhattan, I drove to the closest train station with Amtrak and Septa - Trenton. I took Septa from Trenton to Philadelphia to go to work in the morning. Then, from work, I took a cab to the Philadelphia's 30th Station to catch Amtrak to NY Penn Station (1hr 20min trip). Then I took the subway to get to Polshek's Office in the Village. I had about a half hour til the meeting so I grabbed a quick lunch at a cafe before heading over. Very nice! Coming back, I took the subway back to Penn Station and then took the Amtrak back to Trenton and then, drove back to Lawrenceville. I was able to pick up Terran at daycare by 4:30!

From the train, I noticed the fall colors lining along the railroad tracks. It was a true beauty that I have not seen since I left Japan in 1993. The colors are not only red and yellow and orange, but they are so bright that they almost look neon.

Winter is kicking in. We are preparing our home and our outfits for the cold season....

October already

It's been awhile.... Terran has changed so much in the last month. He took his first attempt at walking when we were in Hawaii. He took a couple of steps when he was with Pat, then he fell. Pat thought that it may have been an accident that he did this. After a few days, he did it again. And within 2 weeks, he was walking wobbly across the room. He is a little more stable now. He walks everywhere and doesn't crawl anymore at all.

He sometimes says ma but not as often as da. He calls a banana "nana". He makes car sounds when he's playing with cars. He makes airplane sound (that sounds just like the car sound) when he hears an airplane and points to the sky. He still loves dogs. He loves cars. He's a very happy kid that we love so much. We are so lucky to have him with us.

The other day when I went to pick him up at daycare, I ran into a mother of one of Terran's classmates. Her baby is only 8.5 months old and cries a lot and can't move around yet. She goes to the daycare during lunch to nurse him. She told me that she watches the kids and that Terran is a really nice boy. He would bring toys to her baby, not just one but several, so that he can play, too. I was so happy to hear that and wondered where he picked up that kind of characteristic. I guess some people are naturally sweet.

Today was Science and Art Fair at his daycare. I wondered what little babies like him have anything to do with science and art. I took Terran by his hand and walked up and down the corridor of the daycare to see the projects done by all the kids. We finally found the work from Daisies (that's the name of his class). They had painting done with jello (I guess that's art), and another painting using things picked up from nature (I guess that's science). It was cute. Terran's artwork was beautiful in a kid sort of way.

May favorite pictures from the past 2 months:


We went to pick blueberries and raspberries during the summer. He would eat them faster than we could pick them. He is full of sweetness.


Even though he is becoming more and more mobile, he still loves to be close to me and I still hold him a lot.


At the fall festival. Terran climbed all over the pumpkins that are as big or bigger than him.


Walking around Manhattan. Reyko and Melvyn were with us and they snapped our rare family picture.

vacation in hawaii

I know I just started working. But vacations are essential! We are spending 8 days on Hawaii's Big Island. Patrick has a conference here so Terran and I tagged along and it's been so wonderful. After we got in, Terran fell asleep immediately in the rental car so we decided to go for a little drive. We probably drove 50 miles max. But in those miles, we saw landscape vary from dried lava rocks, scenic ocean view, green rolling hills, gusty wind atop a big vegetated mountain to a small but populated town with traffic. We also immediately noticed that people drive SLOW! The speed limit was 55 and the drivers go at 55 even though there are only a handful of cars in sight. At first, we were inclined to pass the slow-ass driver in front of us. But we quickly realized that that's the way it is here. After understanding that, we drove slowly, enjoying the amazing vocano slowly rising from the sea. Everything is slow.

The resort is built on top of black lava rocks. It's amazing how men can build this lush green luxury mega resort with lots of pools, sandy beaches, palm trees, and 3 gigantic buildings where in natural state, there's nothing but a big black dead looking rock. We felt guilty going in to the hotel, which so obviously tampers with nature's creations. But guilty or not, as we got settled into our new environment, we quickly forgot about what is actually underneath us....

Terran enjoys the ocean view from our room and playing in the sandy kiddy pool. Pictures to come.

The chinese restaurant at this hotel is excellent. In LA, one could get something similar or even better for half the price. But I don't care. We haven't had good chinese food in so long.... Terran even loved it. Pat has dinner at conference tonight so Terran and I are going to the Japanese restaurant tonight. I even have to dress up. I'm going to look silly all dressed up and dining with a baby. Oh well. I crave good japanese food. New Jersey sucks.

I'm a working mom

I like that title: working mom. It says how big and strong I am and that I can juggle like no other. Terran started eating regular food now. He loves tofu, he will eat vegetables if it's with tofu, he eats rice, he eats pieces of meat with rice.... So my duty at home is to cook a healthy meal for all of us. I've devised a very simple plan to make this work and it has been working well so far. I come up with a menu for every day of the week on Saturday or Sunday. I go shopping for everything I need. I wash and chop up all the vegetables and meats that I will use during the week on the weekend. So during the weekday, when I come home after picking up Terran, I just cook and that takes me about 20 minutes. I also have the rice washed the night before so all I need to do is turn on the cooker. Sometimes, I'll use the slow cooker and turn it on before leaving. When I get home, the chicken is nice and tender. Now that's working mom.

Pat and I have been following NPR's "this i believe" since we were in LA. It's now a good collection of short essays written by several famous, including Colin Powell and Isabel Allende, and numerous non-famous people. We thought about writing one ourselves but that never materialised. Anyway, they recently broadcasted an essay written by a 13 year-old Chinese girl from West Windsor, NJ. It's a powerful essay to read, but even more so when you listen to it being read by her. The immaturity of her voice blended with the maturity of context was an eerie and somehow a sad combination. She speaks of duty that drives her life. Being an asian brought up by asian parents, I feel that I do share a part of that feeling of duty to accomplish. But I think at some point, I just got plain lazy and said "f*ck it". Or maybe I just learned the American way of being self centered. I feel a sadness in her voice as she reads her obligations. I wonder what will become of her in years to come. If I run into her at Marketfair, I should say hi.

Trenton Bathhouse

Since I have time, I went out in the 100+ degree heat to visit the Trenton Bathhouse. It is located adjacent to a pool and is still a functioning building for the Jewish Community Center. Because it is a privately owned property, I could not go in. I just took some pictures from the outside. Unlike the Kimbell Museum and the Salk Institute, which are both loved the community, the Trenton Bathhouse appeared old and tired and in need of proper maintenance. There were walls built on the exterior that seemed out of place. The roof and the CMU wall both need some major work.


I was totally missing Terran today and I decided that I really can't stay like this anymore (me doing nothing in particular and Terran in daycare) and I need to do something to get my mind off of him!!! So, I decided to take the job offer in Philadelphia. We are all taking tomorrow off so I get to keep Terran at home with me. I just want to do mundane things with him, like go grocery shopping, maybe go to the library, put him down for his nap, give him lunch.... I missed him so much.

ma!

Yesterday (july 31, 2006), Terran called me "ma!" so clearly for the first time.

We were all having breakfast in the morning and I was reading an article on the paper about Louis Kahn. The bathhouse that was shown in the movie, My Architect, is located minutes from where I live. This project was presented in the movie as one which really needs some work and maintenance. Now, the property is being sold from the origial owner, Jewish Community Center, to possibly some unknown developer. Although the buildings themselves are listed on the National Register of Historic Places and will be perserved, there is no way of knowing what lies in the future of the property. For more information check out www.trentonbathhouse.org

So I was reading this article and totally ignoring Terran's calls and yells. Finally, he said "ma!" really loud in a very Cantonese sort of way. I just stopped and forgot everything about what I had just read. I was eating cheerios with milk and he wanted it. At that moment, I was so shoked and so choked that I gave him my bowl and let him dip his little hands in my bowl. I just love that little guy so much.

birthday weekend

We ended up driving to DC. It was nothing. 3.5 hour total with 30 min break in the middle. It's very satisfying to drive here. You drive a bit, and you can cross the state line. We went from New Jersey, to Delaware, to Maryland, then to DC in that short amount of time. This is not possible in the west where each state is gigantic.
Once we got to DC, we followed our plan of going to the zoo everyday. We had seen the monuments and several other SmithsonianIinstitutes previously and so was not part of the agenda this time. The zoo is also part of the Smithsonian and it was the first time for all of us. Located centrally within the city, it feels more like a city park with bunch of animals. Since it's free to get in, we saw locals strolling through or jogging through the zoo. It's open from 6am to 9pm so it's really wonderful.
We stayed at Omni Shoreham, just a few blocks away from the zoo. Since Terran woke up early, we started our day early and were at the zoo by 8. We woke up the cheetahs and joined the pandas for breakfast. We saw the birds getting their morning worms and having their house cleaned. We took each day nice and easy. Around lunch, we headed back to the hotel, ate a bit, and all took a nap with Terran. Then around 4, we headed out again, to hang out in Adams Morgan and to check out the local playgrounds. I think Terran had a great time. I sure did.



Terran and Pat in front of the Cheetahs early in the morning. They were so close and seemed like they were eyeing Terran for breakfast.... Isn't Terran adorable in this photo? I see him everyday and can't stop thinking about how amazing and wonderful he is. And oh so cute.


The baby panda, Tai Shan, loves to sleep on the tree branches. He climbs way up high and dangles from the skinny branches as he comfortably takes a nap. However, we got lucky on the first day. He made a rare trip to the ground to eat something yummy with his mom. We got to see the mom and the baby side by side and interacting. Although the baby is not that small anymore, over 50 lbs, he is tiny next to a full grown giant panda. Terran curiously watched the two munch away on their snack. Terran and Tai Shan were born on the same day, July 9. The panda caretaker told us that Tai Shan was born around 3 am. Terran was born a bit past noon on the same day. Happy Birthday! I want to give a pat in the back to the mamma panda. I am sure it was a challenging year for her as well.

Terran loves to climb on things. In fact, he is an excellent climber. Even though he cannot yet walk, he climbs really well. Pat propped him up on this giant bird, as he gave me a great smile for my photo.

Almost One

Terran's birthday is coming up (July 9!). He has been a big part of our lives since I found out I was pregnant on Jan 3, 2005. For his first birthday, I thought of throwing a small party for him. But then, there's nap time conflicts. These days, he's up when his friends are sleeping and he's sleeping when everyone else is up. His aunt and uncle are also out of town so it wouldn't be too much fun. So instead, we decided that we will go to DC for the weekend. At the national zoo, his twin baby panda brother, Tai Shan, will also be celebrating his first.

My big question here is to drive or to take the train. Yahoo map shows that it will take us 3 hours to get to our destination. If everything goes well, that's not so bad. But what about traffic? How long does it actually take? I know that we will all have a difficult time sitting in traffic with Terran stuck in his carseat. Another option is to take the amtrak. According to the schedule, it will take us 2.5 hours direct from Trenton station. That's really good and we can also get up and walk around the train. He can jump on the chairs, and crawl up and down the isle like he did on our flight to LA. The negative side to this is that we will have to carry all our crap (and there's a lot of crap to carry when travelling with a baby). The ride is quite pricey; about $360 round trip for 2.

What should I do? How can I find out such information on the web. I should also ask friends and neighbors if they've driven to DC.