Growing

As I write this, I am thinking that I only write here about once a season now. I should try to frequent it a little more. Everything is growing these days, including myself. Terran is now a little boy, no longer a baby. He communicates with us and puts up a good fight. He was slow to start growing physically but his clothes are finally getting small now. His feet are bigger and smelly at the end of the day from so much action. He is sort of starting to pee in the toilet. He's still my baby but he doesn't act like one anymore.... My tummy is getting huge and I am so heavy these days. The only relief I get is when we go to the pool on a hot day and I get to bounce, almost weightlessly, in the cool water. I was not so eager to get a swim suit for my pregnant self but after a hot day, I just went and got one, and it's the best maternity outfit I've gotten so far.
I am entering my nesting phase. We set up the kids' room with the baby in mind. I move furniture all around the house, trying to get Pat to help. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. And when he doesn't, it just pisses me off. If I weren't pregnant, I could do all of it myself but it's just not possible now. He puts up a big stink about moving things and I just don't understand why.

Spring is here!

We came back from our long vacation and I am so happy to be home. Things have definitely changed around here to bring my spirit up. The weather has been gorgeous and the flowers are in full bloom. It's nice to have our own space and a quiet backyard to play. In drastic contrast to my attitude in the winter, I am so happy to be here!

This weekend was full of excitment but I forgot to carry my camera. On Saturday, we went to the Kite Day at Terhune Orchard. There, we helped Terran make his first kite and let it fly up in the sky. Terran also got to ride around in little tractors and eat donuts and apple cider slushy. We also saw birds, horses, and dogs. The eggs of the geese have hatched and we are seeing little yellow baby goslings running about behind their parents. We saw them by the mall, at the farm, and by a lake. They are everywhere.

Today, Terran participated in his first race with Pat. Lawrenceville School had their Big Red Race. Pat pushed Terran in his running stroller for 5K and they both did really well. I was worried that Terran may scream to get out of his seat but he was a good partner to Pat.

We recently found out that our little fetus is a girl! We are all very excited about this. Imagine all the pink clothes and cute dresses that I will get to buy her!

See what I mean? I am so happy about every little thing now. I am glad it's warm.

off for 10 days!

We are going back to California for 10 days! What a treat. Pat has a cancer conference at the convention center. Supposedly, the conference will be attended by 18,ooo people. What do you do with so many people? In the mean time, Terran and I will wonder around Los Angeles. We plan to get together with my sister and also some friends, and spend a few days doing this and that. Terran is so into train these days so I am thinking of taking him to the Grove to ride on the tram. Then we are off to the Bay Area for another half of our vacation where Pat really gets to spend some time with us. Yay! Since we've got his parents there, so we are planning to do more grown up things at night like eating out and going to Yoshi's. We hardly do things like that any more, and that's ok but it will be nice to go on a date with Pat again. Then, we will come home and crash of exhaustion since we are not used to being up late these days! How we've changed since our non-parenting days....
I am excited to go to California but I am most excited about not having to cook for the next 10 days. I am so tired of cooking. It will definitely be a nice break. Hurray!

Terran is not a gai-jin

My attempt to bring Japanese naturally into his language has been pitifully failing so far. I mostly use English with everyone so I haven't been so careful and conscious about switching to Japanese with him. However,today, I've discovered the most basic yet the core of Japanese essence in Terran. It's a cultural characteristic which is deeply rooted within us: the love of natto!
Natto is goowy fermented soy beans which (according to Pat) stinks like someone's nasty feet. Natto always come in little styrofoam box. To obtain the perfect goowy texture, one must add a bit of soy sauce, some mustard, and mix like crazy. The mixture releases the perfect scent (or odor), and it's ready to be put on top of hot bowl of rice. When I eat it, Pat yells: "are you eating that shit again?" "I can smell it from upstairs".... So I quietly, and somewhat shamefully, eat one of my favorite food in the world. These days, they actually sell reduced-smell natto. I bought that instead of my usual brand and Pat was pleased with the results.
Anyway, I was happily eating my natto today when Terran saw (perhaps smelled) them in my bowl. I had achieved perfection with my natto today with just the right amount of soy sauce, mustard, some dashi, and lots of mixing. Terran is usually not so adventurous with food but he really wanted to try them. So I put a mouthful in his mouth, expecting him to spit it out and walk away. But he swallowed and wanted more. And more and more. He finished my bowl and absolutely loved it.
I just laughed and told Terran how funny and surprising that was. Pat was just shoked. Terran has once again proven to be my offspring.

more photos

We went to visit Reyko in NYC and went to the cloisters. It's a very beautiful, peaceful, quiet, and spiritual place. Terran loved it there - he excitedly ran around and screamed with joy!


Little Terran in the big cloister space.

On a nice autumn day in Lawrenceville.

Sneaking up to the laptop while dada is not looking. These days, he likes me to go on construction equipment website and we look at pictures of excavators. He calls them "digger". This is part of his early vocabularies.

On Pat's 30th birthday, we got a lemon tart and 3 candles.

Recent photos

I haven't uploaded any pictures of Terran lately. He is not a baby anymore. He runs around like a kid, and understands us like a person. When I think I can't possibly love him anymore than I do already, I fall in love even deeper.

Playing with blocks with dada.

Eating and playing with his food on the kitchen floor.

Getting lots of love from dada.

We love this photo: the expression on his face and the drool on his shirt.


Although he is afriad of the sound of vacuum cleaners, he like to play with fake ones. Here he made up his own vacuum cleaner with a pan and a lid. And he walks around the house making vacuum sounds.

When I thought that spring has finally arrived....

It was 75 degrees on Wednesday. The spring has hit us with a bang and I loved it. Two days later, I look outside, and the ground is covered in snow. What more can I say?
I caught a cold two weeks ago from Terran, and although he has recovered completely, I am still suffering from it. My voice still sounds husky and I've had continuous headaches for the past 4 days.
This may be a good time to announce that I am pregnant again. So the headaches, I am told, may be related to early pregnancy. Yes! Although I am sick and dreary right now, we are very excited about our newest member. We named the fetus QP2. Terran in him womb days, was known as QP. I am about 14 weeks and this pregnancy has been a little more difficult than the first. For Pat, he's never had a sibling, so it's a very special thing for him to have more than one child. He is really looking forward to a girl, and if we don't get one, he said we can consider a QP3.... Whatever. I haven't told the bosses at work yet, but I don't think they will be surprised. Since I started there in August, I've seen 2 people go one materinity leave and know of 2 others who are pregnant. It's a very fertile time there.

winter again

The winter is getting worse. We are having a streak of below freezing temperature. It snowed the other day and I was frightened to drive. The most depressing thing is the snow in the city. After a few hours, the white snow turns completely black from the cars. The snow on the side of the streets is just black mush. It makes me sad and sick at the same time.
Out here in NJ, there's not so much traffic so the snow stays white. But it's just unbarebly cold. I can't wait for some warmth.
Other than that, things are pretty normal. I passed my ME exam that I thought I did so horribly. I guess I passed horribly but at least that's off my list.... Moving on to next one.
Terran is becoming more and more conscience out his surroundings. Most days, I pick him up from daycare by 4pm. But on some days, I don't come home until he is almost ready to go to bed. Those days, I just miss him so much and wonder if I am doing this all wrong.
The other day, I had an afternoon meeting in NY and didn't get home until 7. Terran and Pat was waiting for me by the door. Pat said that he opened the door for Terran and when he saw that my car wasn't there, he started crying. He was holding my sweater that I wore the day before (probably picked it off the floor in our bedroom), and waiting for me, looking through the storm door. Having a child is a very emotional experience. This was one that really broke my heart. It felt like I had done it wrong. Two late nights (which is anything after 4) a week is just too much for him. It's definitely a struggle. In addition, I just don't feel like I am doing my job that well. I want winter to be over!

Remember me?

I haven't blogged in awhile. That's because it's just too cold to do anything anymore. In the morning, I see that ice has eaten my car as well as everything around it. They say it's a mild winter; yeah right. I wouldn't describe this as mild at all. I park a couple of blocks away from work and so I have to walk. I've got a stylish but heavy black winter coat, with black hat and a warm scarf. I like the look but it's not enough to block the cold wind. What I really need is a mask. When the icy wind hits my face, I can't help but to let out a small scream. It's just so painful it takes my breath away. People shouldn't have to live in places like this. We should all migrate south for the winter.
Our little Terran is really growing up. He is able to say a few things now. His favorite phrase is "up please!" Well, when he says it, it sounds more like "up eeee!" He's no a baby anymore but he still loves being held. He's been calling Pat "dada" for awhile but he finally started calling me "mama". Before, he would also refer to me as "dada". He's just a really happy, usually easy going guy. He is amazingly similar to his dad, not only the way he looks, but also in his attitude and behavior. I wouldn't put Pat and cool together but Terran definitely thinks highly of him and considers him cool.
Pictures to come....

Meeting in Manhattan

I recently went to my first out of office meeting. The projects that I am working on are in NYC so I went there for a quick afternoon trip to attend the meeting in east coast style. East coast style means that all of the trips are made using trains rather than cars which I am most accustomed to. Since I live in between Philadelphia and Manhattan, I drove to the closest train station with Amtrak and Septa - Trenton. I took Septa from Trenton to Philadelphia to go to work in the morning. Then, from work, I took a cab to the Philadelphia's 30th Station to catch Amtrak to NY Penn Station (1hr 20min trip). Then I took the subway to get to Polshek's Office in the Village. I had about a half hour til the meeting so I grabbed a quick lunch at a cafe before heading over. Very nice! Coming back, I took the subway back to Penn Station and then took the Amtrak back to Trenton and then, drove back to Lawrenceville. I was able to pick up Terran at daycare by 4:30!

From the train, I noticed the fall colors lining along the railroad tracks. It was a true beauty that I have not seen since I left Japan in 1993. The colors are not only red and yellow and orange, but they are so bright that they almost look neon.

Winter is kicking in. We are preparing our home and our outfits for the cold season....

October already

It's been awhile.... Terran has changed so much in the last month. He took his first attempt at walking when we were in Hawaii. He took a couple of steps when he was with Pat, then he fell. Pat thought that it may have been an accident that he did this. After a few days, he did it again. And within 2 weeks, he was walking wobbly across the room. He is a little more stable now. He walks everywhere and doesn't crawl anymore at all.

He sometimes says ma but not as often as da. He calls a banana "nana". He makes car sounds when he's playing with cars. He makes airplane sound (that sounds just like the car sound) when he hears an airplane and points to the sky. He still loves dogs. He loves cars. He's a very happy kid that we love so much. We are so lucky to have him with us.

The other day when I went to pick him up at daycare, I ran into a mother of one of Terran's classmates. Her baby is only 8.5 months old and cries a lot and can't move around yet. She goes to the daycare during lunch to nurse him. She told me that she watches the kids and that Terran is a really nice boy. He would bring toys to her baby, not just one but several, so that he can play, too. I was so happy to hear that and wondered where he picked up that kind of characteristic. I guess some people are naturally sweet.

Today was Science and Art Fair at his daycare. I wondered what little babies like him have anything to do with science and art. I took Terran by his hand and walked up and down the corridor of the daycare to see the projects done by all the kids. We finally found the work from Daisies (that's the name of his class). They had painting done with jello (I guess that's art), and another painting using things picked up from nature (I guess that's science). It was cute. Terran's artwork was beautiful in a kid sort of way.

May favorite pictures from the past 2 months:


We went to pick blueberries and raspberries during the summer. He would eat them faster than we could pick them. He is full of sweetness.


Even though he is becoming more and more mobile, he still loves to be close to me and I still hold him a lot.


At the fall festival. Terran climbed all over the pumpkins that are as big or bigger than him.


Walking around Manhattan. Reyko and Melvyn were with us and they snapped our rare family picture.

vacation in hawaii

I know I just started working. But vacations are essential! We are spending 8 days on Hawaii's Big Island. Patrick has a conference here so Terran and I tagged along and it's been so wonderful. After we got in, Terran fell asleep immediately in the rental car so we decided to go for a little drive. We probably drove 50 miles max. But in those miles, we saw landscape vary from dried lava rocks, scenic ocean view, green rolling hills, gusty wind atop a big vegetated mountain to a small but populated town with traffic. We also immediately noticed that people drive SLOW! The speed limit was 55 and the drivers go at 55 even though there are only a handful of cars in sight. At first, we were inclined to pass the slow-ass driver in front of us. But we quickly realized that that's the way it is here. After understanding that, we drove slowly, enjoying the amazing vocano slowly rising from the sea. Everything is slow.

The resort is built on top of black lava rocks. It's amazing how men can build this lush green luxury mega resort with lots of pools, sandy beaches, palm trees, and 3 gigantic buildings where in natural state, there's nothing but a big black dead looking rock. We felt guilty going in to the hotel, which so obviously tampers with nature's creations. But guilty or not, as we got settled into our new environment, we quickly forgot about what is actually underneath us....

Terran enjoys the ocean view from our room and playing in the sandy kiddy pool. Pictures to come.

The chinese restaurant at this hotel is excellent. In LA, one could get something similar or even better for half the price. But I don't care. We haven't had good chinese food in so long.... Terran even loved it. Pat has dinner at conference tonight so Terran and I are going to the Japanese restaurant tonight. I even have to dress up. I'm going to look silly all dressed up and dining with a baby. Oh well. I crave good japanese food. New Jersey sucks.

I'm a working mom

I like that title: working mom. It says how big and strong I am and that I can juggle like no other. Terran started eating regular food now. He loves tofu, he will eat vegetables if it's with tofu, he eats rice, he eats pieces of meat with rice.... So my duty at home is to cook a healthy meal for all of us. I've devised a very simple plan to make this work and it has been working well so far. I come up with a menu for every day of the week on Saturday or Sunday. I go shopping for everything I need. I wash and chop up all the vegetables and meats that I will use during the week on the weekend. So during the weekday, when I come home after picking up Terran, I just cook and that takes me about 20 minutes. I also have the rice washed the night before so all I need to do is turn on the cooker. Sometimes, I'll use the slow cooker and turn it on before leaving. When I get home, the chicken is nice and tender. Now that's working mom.

Pat and I have been following NPR's "this i believe" since we were in LA. It's now a good collection of short essays written by several famous, including Colin Powell and Isabel Allende, and numerous non-famous people. We thought about writing one ourselves but that never materialised. Anyway, they recently broadcasted an essay written by a 13 year-old Chinese girl from West Windsor, NJ. It's a powerful essay to read, but even more so when you listen to it being read by her. The immaturity of her voice blended with the maturity of context was an eerie and somehow a sad combination. She speaks of duty that drives her life. Being an asian brought up by asian parents, I feel that I do share a part of that feeling of duty to accomplish. But I think at some point, I just got plain lazy and said "f*ck it". Or maybe I just learned the American way of being self centered. I feel a sadness in her voice as she reads her obligations. I wonder what will become of her in years to come. If I run into her at Marketfair, I should say hi.

Trenton Bathhouse

Since I have time, I went out in the 100+ degree heat to visit the Trenton Bathhouse. It is located adjacent to a pool and is still a functioning building for the Jewish Community Center. Because it is a privately owned property, I could not go in. I just took some pictures from the outside. Unlike the Kimbell Museum and the Salk Institute, which are both loved the community, the Trenton Bathhouse appeared old and tired and in need of proper maintenance. There were walls built on the exterior that seemed out of place. The roof and the CMU wall both need some major work.


I was totally missing Terran today and I decided that I really can't stay like this anymore (me doing nothing in particular and Terran in daycare) and I need to do something to get my mind off of him!!! So, I decided to take the job offer in Philadelphia. We are all taking tomorrow off so I get to keep Terran at home with me. I just want to do mundane things with him, like go grocery shopping, maybe go to the library, put him down for his nap, give him lunch.... I missed him so much.

ma!

Yesterday (july 31, 2006), Terran called me "ma!" so clearly for the first time.

We were all having breakfast in the morning and I was reading an article on the paper about Louis Kahn. The bathhouse that was shown in the movie, My Architect, is located minutes from where I live. This project was presented in the movie as one which really needs some work and maintenance. Now, the property is being sold from the origial owner, Jewish Community Center, to possibly some unknown developer. Although the buildings themselves are listed on the National Register of Historic Places and will be perserved, there is no way of knowing what lies in the future of the property. For more information check out www.trentonbathhouse.org

So I was reading this article and totally ignoring Terran's calls and yells. Finally, he said "ma!" really loud in a very Cantonese sort of way. I just stopped and forgot everything about what I had just read. I was eating cheerios with milk and he wanted it. At that moment, I was so shoked and so choked that I gave him my bowl and let him dip his little hands in my bowl. I just love that little guy so much.

birthday weekend

We ended up driving to DC. It was nothing. 3.5 hour total with 30 min break in the middle. It's very satisfying to drive here. You drive a bit, and you can cross the state line. We went from New Jersey, to Delaware, to Maryland, then to DC in that short amount of time. This is not possible in the west where each state is gigantic.
Once we got to DC, we followed our plan of going to the zoo everyday. We had seen the monuments and several other SmithsonianIinstitutes previously and so was not part of the agenda this time. The zoo is also part of the Smithsonian and it was the first time for all of us. Located centrally within the city, it feels more like a city park with bunch of animals. Since it's free to get in, we saw locals strolling through or jogging through the zoo. It's open from 6am to 9pm so it's really wonderful.
We stayed at Omni Shoreham, just a few blocks away from the zoo. Since Terran woke up early, we started our day early and were at the zoo by 8. We woke up the cheetahs and joined the pandas for breakfast. We saw the birds getting their morning worms and having their house cleaned. We took each day nice and easy. Around lunch, we headed back to the hotel, ate a bit, and all took a nap with Terran. Then around 4, we headed out again, to hang out in Adams Morgan and to check out the local playgrounds. I think Terran had a great time. I sure did.



Terran and Pat in front of the Cheetahs early in the morning. They were so close and seemed like they were eyeing Terran for breakfast.... Isn't Terran adorable in this photo? I see him everyday and can't stop thinking about how amazing and wonderful he is. And oh so cute.


The baby panda, Tai Shan, loves to sleep on the tree branches. He climbs way up high and dangles from the skinny branches as he comfortably takes a nap. However, we got lucky on the first day. He made a rare trip to the ground to eat something yummy with his mom. We got to see the mom and the baby side by side and interacting. Although the baby is not that small anymore, over 50 lbs, he is tiny next to a full grown giant panda. Terran curiously watched the two munch away on their snack. Terran and Tai Shan were born on the same day, July 9. The panda caretaker told us that Tai Shan was born around 3 am. Terran was born a bit past noon on the same day. Happy Birthday! I want to give a pat in the back to the mamma panda. I am sure it was a challenging year for her as well.

Terran loves to climb on things. In fact, he is an excellent climber. Even though he cannot yet walk, he climbs really well. Pat propped him up on this giant bird, as he gave me a great smile for my photo.

Almost One

Terran's birthday is coming up (July 9!). He has been a big part of our lives since I found out I was pregnant on Jan 3, 2005. For his first birthday, I thought of throwing a small party for him. But then, there's nap time conflicts. These days, he's up when his friends are sleeping and he's sleeping when everyone else is up. His aunt and uncle are also out of town so it wouldn't be too much fun. So instead, we decided that we will go to DC for the weekend. At the national zoo, his twin baby panda brother, Tai Shan, will also be celebrating his first.

My big question here is to drive or to take the train. Yahoo map shows that it will take us 3 hours to get to our destination. If everything goes well, that's not so bad. But what about traffic? How long does it actually take? I know that we will all have a difficult time sitting in traffic with Terran stuck in his carseat. Another option is to take the amtrak. According to the schedule, it will take us 2.5 hours direct from Trenton station. That's really good and we can also get up and walk around the train. He can jump on the chairs, and crawl up and down the isle like he did on our flight to LA. The negative side to this is that we will have to carry all our crap (and there's a lot of crap to carry when travelling with a baby). The ride is quite pricey; about $360 round trip for 2.

What should I do? How can I find out such information on the web. I should also ask friends and neighbors if they've driven to DC.

Congratulation Patrick!

Last week, we made a trip to LA for Pat's hooding ceremony. He got his PhD in Biomedical Physics. His dissertation title is "Measurements and Caculations towards Quantitative PET and CT Imaging in Small Animals". For more information on Patrick's research, contact him directly. Whatever his research was about, I will never quite understand, but, we are still very proud of his achievement. Here are some pictures of us and Dr. Pat.


The three of us at UCLA.



Waiting in line to get inside for the ceremony at Royce Hall. It started at 7 which is past Terran's bedtime. He seemed pretty tired throughout the ceremony.


Terran couldn't stop looking at Pat in his gown. He's never seen his dad in such a strange outfit.

daycare

I had a job interview today so I took Terran to the daycare for the first time. The daycare is at Pat's work place and that's where he will go when I eventually find a job. When we got there, I immediately felt at ease because the caretaker was nice, in a grandma sort of way. I talked to her for awhile, showed Terran some toys and handed him off to her. As I said my goodbye, he started to cry as did I. We both cried silently with tears in our eyes. It broke my heart.

I was very nervous about the situation so I am not sure if I did all that well on my interview. When I came back at 3, he was sitting in a chair, eating his snacks by himself, while other kids were playing with bubbles. He's hardly ever at one place by himself so this also made me sad. Usually, when he's sitting in his chair, I am always there, sitting next to him, entertaining or talking to him. However, the caretakers told me that he did really well. He didn't cry but was able to play with the caretakers, and also with other kids. They told me that he ate his snacks, loved the books, and loved the bubbles. They said he looked really serious most of the time but was able to get a giggle out of him at one time.

It's hard to say whether I am doing the right thing. But when I finally picked him up, it just felt like he belonged there, in between my arms, and not in a strange baby chair, eating his snacks by himself. I probably do pay too much attention to him, and I probably do hold him too much. This is going to be a very difficult adjustment for me.....

back to normal

The only medicine for a jet lagged baby is time. After one full week of messed up schedule, we finally got back to normal and picked up our routine. And routine is a beautiful thing. I just remembered that being at home shouldn't stop me from posting pictures of Terran.


Terran and Junko, completely exhausted from being jet lagged. Not knowing when it was going to end was scary.


Terran's first time in the pool on Memorial Day weekend '06. He didn't seem to have enjoyed it much here but we've gone a few times since then. And he seemed a bit happier.... The water was a bit cold on this day so we probaby should have waited a bit longer.


I bought new toys for Terran (and Pat). Terran loves playing with his dad. Terran is still very tiny compared to other babies his age. The doctor says it's the genes.... He looks like the smaller version of Pat. But he's matured so much over the last few months. He seems more like a kid than a baby now. He can wave hello to people and smiles often. Very amazing.


A little toy that rolls and makes annoying music. Terran loves to ride on it on the sidewalk with Pat pushing him from the back. On a hot afternoon, he's just in his shirt, diaper, and bib.


Happy camera moment for Terran and Junko. I got him this sippy cup that he actually seem to like to use. He usually chews on the spout and doesn't know what to do with it. Hopefully this one really works.