helvetica

I just watched a movie called "helvetica" with Patrick. Basically, its a documentary about the type font Helvetica - history, comments, thoughts, love, hate, whatever. It's somewhat interesting. I was into it for the first 45 minutes then my mind went elsewhere, started thinking about abundance of fonts and lack of hand written words.

Handwriting has become an immensely personal tool. I began thinking about the people that I was close to in my adolescent days. I know the handwriting of my best friend. I know the handwriting of each of my family members. I still even remember the handwriting of the guy that I had a crush on. Fast forward to college. I think about my husband's handwriting through the little notes he left for me on post-its pasted on my dorm room door. At that time, I thought his writing was serious, a little immature, and extremely clear - basically, himself on a piece of yellow sticky. I can also recall some of my friends' writings. I think about a person's face and for those people that I've known for a long time, I can recall their handwritings. It's something personal that belongs to them and it makes me smile to just think about them.

The problem arises when I think about the people that I met after college. I guess there was never a need to exchange handwritten notes, and there was never an opportunity to see their writings. I just don't know what their handwritings look like. Even for those who I became very close to, I just don't know it and I wish I did.

These days, I only write by hand when I write a thank you card, or a card to include in a gift box (I write notes and make lists for myself but they don't count). I like writing by hand - it makes me a little nervous because I can't push the delete button like I do so often on the computer. I like it because if I don't know how to spell something, I just sort of scribble to fudge it. I also scribble when I don't know if the word that I just wrote is an actual word.

When my friend left after college, we promised to write to each other rather than email, just because we never get anything meaningful in the mailbox anymore. That lasted for a couple of years and correspondence seized for years. Now, 10 years later, we are using technology.

I've encountered problems with fonts. Every once in a blue moon, I receive very personal emails where it's just more than hellos. I read this email, understand it, but never quite get the sense of it. Sometimes, I don't even know how to trust it and question it's authenticity. When this happens, the only thing I can do is to touch the computer screen, to actually touch the words and to find some meaning - I can't say this really helps. If the same sentences were handwritten, I don't think I would question the content at all.

When I write an email to my husband, just to ask him to pick up something after work or whatever, I write "i love you" before signing my name. I do this just because I like saying it and I say it to him and also to my kids countless times during the day. When I say it, I think they can feel my words. But when I type it, it seems so empty - I don't even trust what I am writing. I told this to Pat and he says it's better that I type it then not, so guess I will continue doing it. But I just cannot convey what I want to tell him in those 3 simple words in a typed form. All feelings lost and only words remain.

Maybe I will handwrite my next blog entry. That means that I have to go find a pen and a paper. That's a lot of work in itself.

today

Today, I was trying to "fix" something on my blog site and now it looks bad.... What did I do?!

Today, Terran and I were sitting outside in the back of our Subaru, having cookies and milk, when he said "mama, you so pretty, love you". I melted and fell in love with him all over again. As he was about to come give me a hug, he stood up, bumped him head on the car ceiling, started wailing and the moment was gone. It was just the sweetest thing. I will always remember this.

Today, I decided that we will go on vacation to France (tagged to Pat's conference) in September. Patrick has been asking me for awhile and at first I said I don't want to go. But he started looking for accommodation for all of us and I said I'll think about it. My thought was, if it were just me and him, I'd definitely go. The only reason why I don't want to go is because it's so much trouble taking 2 little kids. But I began to think that if I keep missing these opportunities for vacations because of the kids, we'd never go anywhere. So even though I am still not looking forward to it all that much, we will all go. Besides, we are very experienced in making Patrick's conferences an excuse for vacations. I tagged along to Italy in 2004, where I accidentally became pregnant with Terran :) We tagged along to Hawaii in 2006. We tagged along to Los Angeles in 2007. And so now, its Nice in 2008 with a new tag buddy, Sierra. And definitely no chance of getting pregnant with 2 children in tow.



Terran and I on Sunday while playing outside.



Happy Sierra on a camping chair.



In 2007 when we tagged along to a conference in Los Angeles. Terran and I met up with my friend Patrick and he took this picture. Terran loved the beach so much and just started running around in circles. I was probably 5 months pregnant with Sierra.


In 2006 when we tagged along to a conference in Hawaii (Big Island). It was held at a resort and they had everything on the property including dolphins. Patrick took a break from work during the day to come hang out with us.


In 2004 when I flew out to Rome and met up with Patrick after his conference. We traveled to a few places including Cinque Terre. We met up with our friend Peter there and he took this picture. This is where we accidentally conceived due to a mixture of great food, great air, great location, and forgetting to take the pill! We named Terran after this place.

Sick

My poor Terran was sick this weekend. He started coughing on Saturday morning and continues tonight. It's stressful when a child is sick. It's terrible to watch him cough continuously, and it's terrible to watch him suffer all day. But it's really annoying that he won't listen to me and cries and screams most of the day. The docs banned all cold and cough medicine for kids so I can't give him anything. Well, I gave him Tylenol and that seemed to have taken some pain away temporarily. I let him eat whatever he wants and let him get away with things he would otherwise get in trouble for. Absolutely exhausted and hoping for a better day tomorrow....

A warm weekend

This was the first really warm weekend and we all had a grand time hanging out outside. Saturday, we lunched under the sun and strolled in Princeton. We have this big double stroller that Pat and I named "the bus". Sierra sits in the front and Terran in the back and with both of them in position, it's not an easy equipment to push. But it gives me great exercise to push that bus around so I am thankful for it.

On Sunday, we ventured out to Philadelphia Zoo. I never liked zoos when I was younger. But now with 2 children, anything that keeps them happy and somewhat educational is OK by me. Philadelphia zoo is the nation's first zoo. So I was imagining it to have lots of animals in small metal cages. But that wasn't the case at all. I guess they had done a lot of renovations and it felt more like a quaint park. Best of all, Terran loved it. In the middle of the day, Sierra got a little upset so I found a quiet spot to nurse her in front of the chimpanzee exhibit. As I sat on the floor with Sierra on my boob, I thought about evolution. Not so many women nurse their babies anymore. If generations of women stop nursing, would our breasts evolve to become useless for feeding? That was a scary thought since both Sierra and Terran used me exclusively for food as well as for a pacifier. Maybe evolution isn't so easy. I guess we'll be fine.

Since it's warmer and lighter now, I put Sierra to sleep and have been going out for a stroll around the neighborhood around 8pm. It's really the only time during the day when I feel finally alone. The past couple of days, I've stepped it up a bit from a stroll to a jog (with a little encouragement from Pat). I've never enjoyed jogging but this should be good for me and my big behind.... On that note, I lost 5lbs recently without really any effort! Maybe the jog will help shed more - and the dreaded mommy & baby exercise class tomorrow am.


At the zoo with Terran and Sierra on "the bus".

April

It's really peaceful when both of the kids are sleeping at the same time. I think the temperature outside is about70 today so I was able to take them out to the park after lunch. That must have tired them out. Yay!

Recently, I have been looking for my friend who I last contacted about a year ago. I am not that great at searching for people online. Her name is Jenny Chang and she now works at microsoft in Seattle. Do you know her? If you do, will you email me with her email? My email has not changed in the last 10 years. She apprently changed her email address and her cell phone number. I hate it when people do that. We don't have any mutual friends and I sent her a holiday card at her parents house with all my info but never heard back from her. She was going to visit me around this time last year. It was a last minute thing. Out of nowhere, she called to say she wants to come over the next day. So I said OK. Then there was a snow storm and her car broke down etc. etc. And she didn't come. I know her from college but our history is longer than that. As we were chatting back in 1997, we discovered that our dads worked for the same company and that we use to play as children on occasions. At first meeting, I found her extremely eccentric but after I warmed up to her, we became good friends. I miss her....

Sierra and I started mommy & baby exercise class. I was excited when I signed up for it but now, I dread going every tuesday. It's so hard! Needless to say, all the moms including myself, are FAT. Oh, except for one - mom of the twins. She's skin and bones.

Ooops. Peace interrupted. It's Sierra. She slept through the first 4 months of her life. Now she's happy to be up and playing. She's the most adorable thing and I get lots of comments on how beautiful she is. I usually carry her around in my ergo baby carrier - the best sling ever - so she is at people's eye level - or a little shorter since I am short. When a stranger comes up to say hello to her, she gives a hesitant smile. It's so cute.


Here is one who interrupted peace. No big deal since she was so smiley and peaceful when she woke up.