Still pregnant

I've been off work for since 8/16. Pat was so worried for the first part of August that I would go into Labor somewhere far from home. So we decided that instead of working til the end, I should just stay home and wait for the baby to show up. Now that I am home, his stress and worries are gone and we are just wondering when she's going to decide to come out. Terran was born exactly 3 weeks before the due date at 37 weeks. So I approximated that this one would, too. But 37 weeks have come and gone and she is still happily inside my system.

Terran is still at daycare full time and Pat is at work so I spend time in my quiet house doing this and that. It's really the calm before the storm. Who knows what it will be like next week. My mom and dad will be here. My sister and her husband will be here. It will be Terran's last week of full time daycare so he will be in and out. Pat may or may not be on paternity leave depending on where the baby is going to be; inside or out.

My urge to nest have gotten me clean everything in the house. I bleached the bathrooms and the grout between the tiles until they are all sparkling white. I stripped the caulking around the shower and the tub and re-caulked them. I cleaned the floor and the floor tile grout. I cleaned out all the storage closets and got rid of years worth of junk and paper. This is totally hormonal because usually, I don't give a damn.

I am suppose to go back to work in Feb 2008. I get comments that that's a long maternity leave, but I don't know if it's long enough or maybe too long. I was happily at home with Terran for a year but I am not sure if I am going to have the urge to go back to work or not. Sometimes, I fear for my love for this little baby. I've gotten so used to the family of 3 with Pat, Terran, and myself. I'm just so crazy about Terran and watch his every move with adoration. Am I capable of loving another child as much as Terran? Am I going to be able to accept that I won't be able to give as much attention to Terran as I do now? The thought totally scares me. I've never heard of a mom who doesn't love all her kids. So there's some comfort in that but I hope I won't be the first....


The weather is cooling down so we can go pick berries on Saturday mornings. Terran is more interested in eating rather than picking.


We also cut fresh flowers at the same place where we get berries. I pick the flowers and Terran cuts for me.


He lines up all his toys with wheels and makes a "choo-choo train". I put a camping chair at the end and sit there so he won't make me sit in one of his toy cars, in which I can barely fit.

Terran's first poop. It's tiny but authentic!!! He did a big number right after this in his diaper....

Terran and Big Mama after picking berries.

nearing the end and nearing the beginning

At this point, I am nearing the end of 3 major event: work, pregnancy, and ARE. I've been working for a year in Philly now and it has been alright. That is coming to an end due another one of my extended maternity leaves. I am a bit relieved and looking forward to this end which will occur in a week.

My months of pregnancy is also coming to an end. I am at 35 weeks now, and although it's a bit early for delivery, I feel that it can come anytime. Pat is always nervous that I am going to go into labor in Philly or NY. I still need to go to the construction meeting in NY tomorrow and he's been trying to talk me out of it. I think I will be OK. My baby has come down lower in my tummy, which means that she's ready to join us anytime.

I started taking my ARE in 2004. After 3 years, I am almost done. My last exam will be next week and I will be done with it. Due to the stress, I've heard that there has been many cases of pregnant women going into labor during exams. I usually remain relaxed but just in case, I asked Pat to be in Philly that day so he will be able to drive me back to NJ if it actually does happen. If not, we'll be able to get nice lunch afterwards!

All these endings call for an equal number of beginnings. I want to get my license during maternity leave so I need to start studying for the oral. Then, of course, there will be a huge change from going to work everyday with grownups to being a full time mom with 2 kids. All this will be caused by the birth of our little baby girl. Terran will be a big brother soon as he curiously touches the new crib and kindly kisses the baby in my tummy good night.





Terran and his friend Matt who came over to celebrate his 2nd birthday.



We took a trip to Montreal in July for the Jazz Festival. Terran had no patience to stand in the crowd and listen to music, so we didn't get the experience much of Jazz. But it was a great scene in a great city.



I bought Terran a huge soft serve. It kept him quiet and happy for a pretty long time. People looked at his face covered with ice cream and smiled. I don't know what they were thinking but I just didn't feel like cleaning him every time he licked.



We did a small birthday party for Terran at his daycare. Terran turning 2 was quite emotional for me. At 1, he was still a baby, but at 2, he has changed and matured so much. And to think that he was just a little baby who couldn't walk or talk, just a little while ago. Now, he is full of emotions and expressions, full of humor and sometimes anger. He's a boy who has desires and can communicate all that.