I'm a home maker

Until very recently, I focused only on myself. I was the center of the universe, and everything else, everyone else, were there around me. My career was most important and I wanted to grow and succeed.

The birth of my baby, Terran, has completely altered the way I view myself and what's important. I decided not to go back to work for awhile. Mostly because we are moving and there's no point going back for a couple of months. My disability money and family leave money is all gone now. Good thing I saved up enough to not have to worry about money for awhile.

So now, I am at home, making breakfast, lunch and dinner for Patrick, doing daily chores, and still waking up in the middle of the night to feed Terran. There's definitely nothing architectural about my life now. Although I carve to go back to work (mostly so that I can get quiet days in front of the computer - there's nothing more stressful and worrisome than being responsible for a person's life), I realize that there's no life without a family of my own.

I always respected working moms. But now, I have a greater respect for stay-at-home moms also know a s "home makers". My mom was a home maker but I never realized how difficult her job was. Taking care of kids and household is physically and mentally challenging. My baby is getting heavier and heavier, but since he is still immobile, I need to carry him around in my arms for many hours during the day. He is starting to gain some independence, but he still prefers to be cuddled and held. In the afternoon, I try to prepare dinner, but at the same time, Terran gets grumpy and calls for my attention. He takes naps during the day, but it seems to be getting shorter these days, and during his naps, I try to take shower, do the dishes, get something to eat, and clean up the mess around the apartment. People ask me what I do all day and why I'm so busy, but honestly, I've never been busier and I've never had to exert myself as much as I do now. As a result, I fall asleep, completely exhausted at the end of the day, only to be woken up in 4 hours for another feeding....

All this, however, is not a complaint. I love being with Terran, and watching him change day to day. Terran's life has taught me that career is not the most important things in life. Career opportunities are easy to come by. But a relationship with my baby, my husband, and my friends, are really one of a kind. I suppose I will get a job when we settle in the east coast. But I've accepted that it's my job to first stablize the family, then look for something for myself.

EDIT: After re-reading the first paragraph days later, I don't know what I was talking about. I was never than ambitious about work. All I wanted was to love my work and go on vacations....