Bath time....

When I wash Terran's cheeks in bath with a warm towel, he rolls back his head and looks like he's getting the ultimate spa treatment of his life. Except, it happens every night. Then he giggles. It's so cute that we wash his cheeks over and over again.

at home....

Pat is far away in Puerto Rico this week. He calls me daily (sometimes twice a day) to check in. Supposedly away on conference, he calls to tell me about his snorkeling adventures and treks to the rain forest, and seeing tiny little frogs. Over the phone, he lets me hear some exotic sounds of frogs. They sound like birds or like someone whistling in the background. But he insists that they are frogs and their beautiful whistles are so loud that they keep him up at night. Thousands of miles away, here in Los Angeles, what keeps me up at night is the sound of Terran calling for me at 1am and 4am....

Terran and I went to a neighbor's birthday party on Sunday. Hajjia is turning 2 and she's adorable. She loves babies and when she saw Terran, she came up to him and rubbed her cheek against his. I met some other neighbor moms found out one big connection among them: They all work to support their families, take care of their children, and pay bills while the husbands go to school for their PhDs. It is now so clear to me that women are so much stronger and are capable of doing so much more than one expects. Without women, families cannot function, and men get nowhere.... It's true.

having chinese parents

Having Chinese parents-in-law has definitely been an eye opening experience. Their mind and their logic is completely different from those of my own. Here are some examples:

1. Pat is sick these days. He's been coughing and he had some fever. He is trying to finish up his dissertation; he is stressed. On top of that, he started exercising again, not lightly, but running 8 miles a day. I know that stress and physical strain were the cause to his sickness. His mom says: "Your sick because you ate so much curry. Don't eat curry any more"....

2. I've been breastfeeding Terran since he was born. In the last 3.5 months, Terran and I have mastered the art of breastfeeding. He knows how to position his head perfectly so that he is most comfortable while he eats. And I know how to hold him so that he is most happy. His mom says: "Don't squish his nose against your boobs when he eats. His nose will be grow deformed and he will be ugly"....

3. During pregnancy, I was careful to eat healthy and avoid foods that could cause problems for the baby, namely raw egg, rare beef, undercooked meat, and sashimi. Here are more things that I avoided taking advice from the in-laws: mango, pinapple, watermelon, snake, and lamb. His dad provided an example from his personal experience: When he was in Hong Kong, 30 years ago, he met a mother who gave birth to an ugly baby with rashes on her face. The reason for her rashes? Because the mom ate watermelon during pregnancy.

4. His dad emailed us with a very important health tip: Don't wash hair with cold water. Also followed by a real life example. A cousin of his didn't listen to her elders and washed her hair with cold water. As a result, after many many years when she became old, she developed migranes so bad that she has to take 3 tylenols daily to deal with it.

When I first heard these kind of advice, I just rolled my eyes and laughed. But these days, it's just getting more and more ridiculous. I don't know how much longer I can handle them. Note to Pat: if your parents tell you these things over the phone, don't relay their message to me. I've heard enough....

I'm a home maker

Until very recently, I focused only on myself. I was the center of the universe, and everything else, everyone else, were there around me. My career was most important and I wanted to grow and succeed.

The birth of my baby, Terran, has completely altered the way I view myself and what's important. I decided not to go back to work for awhile. Mostly because we are moving and there's no point going back for a couple of months. My disability money and family leave money is all gone now. Good thing I saved up enough to not have to worry about money for awhile.

So now, I am at home, making breakfast, lunch and dinner for Patrick, doing daily chores, and still waking up in the middle of the night to feed Terran. There's definitely nothing architectural about my life now. Although I carve to go back to work (mostly so that I can get quiet days in front of the computer - there's nothing more stressful and worrisome than being responsible for a person's life), I realize that there's no life without a family of my own.

I always respected working moms. But now, I have a greater respect for stay-at-home moms also know a s "home makers". My mom was a home maker but I never realized how difficult her job was. Taking care of kids and household is physically and mentally challenging. My baby is getting heavier and heavier, but since he is still immobile, I need to carry him around in my arms for many hours during the day. He is starting to gain some independence, but he still prefers to be cuddled and held. In the afternoon, I try to prepare dinner, but at the same time, Terran gets grumpy and calls for my attention. He takes naps during the day, but it seems to be getting shorter these days, and during his naps, I try to take shower, do the dishes, get something to eat, and clean up the mess around the apartment. People ask me what I do all day and why I'm so busy, but honestly, I've never been busier and I've never had to exert myself as much as I do now. As a result, I fall asleep, completely exhausted at the end of the day, only to be woken up in 4 hours for another feeding....

All this, however, is not a complaint. I love being with Terran, and watching him change day to day. Terran's life has taught me that career is not the most important things in life. Career opportunities are easy to come by. But a relationship with my baby, my husband, and my friends, are really one of a kind. I suppose I will get a job when we settle in the east coast. But I've accepted that it's my job to first stablize the family, then look for something for myself.

EDIT: After re-reading the first paragraph days later, I don't know what I was talking about. I was never than ambitious about work. All I wanted was to love my work and go on vacations....

little sister

My little sister goes t USC. She's 19 now. Ever since she was born, she got attention from everyone in the family, whether she liked it or not (most of the time not, I assume). Mom told her what to do, and everyone tried to help her out. Although my middle sister and I grew up to be very independent, the little one didn't seem that way. She always seemed pretty clueless and irresponsible. She always got help before she even asked. She hardly ever shared her thoughts and feelings with us, although I know that she kept a lot to herself inside.

However, this year, for one reason or another, she seemed to have turned around and brightened up. She changed her major from computer science to business administration and she's loving it. My dad always wanted us girls to study business. At last, she became the one to do it. It seems like she's trying to structure her lifestyle. To a college student, that's very mature. She cooks for herself and for her roommate everyday, and she seems to be exercising frequently. She tells me that she has time to study, be a part of several organizations, and party.

I was always worried about her and how her procrastination, and irresponsible attitude will affect her. But recently, she just seems so different, so grown up, and so delighted. It makes me happy that she is so naturally turning into a beautiful young woman.